I apologize in advance for any typos because I'm on my phone.
I think my mom is great but we are way too enmeshed. She was always a bit overprotective but gave me my space. She wouldn't even call when I was out with friends unless it was late. then I got pregnant at 19 and married and all of that changed. While I was pregnant we stayed at my parents house for 6 months to save up money which worked out great and we finally moved out. When I did she called me everyday. She called me and would ask me about my DS and would come over to visit all the time. I was ok with this because it was my first time living with my new family and of course all my friends dropped me so I was lonely :(
ETA: I just deleted a bunch of info that I didn't copy and paste because I thought my post was super long. It took my 45 mins to finaih this but if there is BG needed let me know.
My dad passed away 2 weeks after my LO was born which was in FEB. My mom stayed at her apartment until the lease was up (April) and moved in to my place because she needed to figure out where she was going and how she was going to pay for everything. Right now she has a storage until for all her hoarding items but she has her bed in my living room. These months have been so so. She helps a lot with cooking and sometimes help me bathe the kids but I really want her out. Thankfully she already found a new apartment and the lease started on DEc 1 but she is still here...one thing I hate about my mom is that she is never in a rush. I don't understand how she could be ok with the fact that she is paying rent at one place but doesn't sleep there.....?? She says she needs to buy more furniture still and a tv. I really want her outta here already but I don't know what to say. Even if I did say something I'm sure she will just say "she has no time to do anything". Btw she works a 5am-9am shift and doesn't come back home until 8pm! Not that I care but most of the times she's at my aunts just sitting and eating and drinking coffee. Or sometimes she stays late at work because they tell her too and she just can't say no!
But I think my biggest problem is that she never listens to me when I say something and when I do she doesn't respect me. This is a whole other story but my ODS is VERY picky to the point where he used to gag and throw up at the sight, smell and touch of new foods but he has gotten much better since we made the switch to almos milk. She buys him potato chips and French fries because she knows he likes it and if he doesn't eat that then she always say omg what is he gonna eat???? Or if I say he takes so much shits a day most likely due to all the grease and she just says well if he doesn't eat that then what is he gonna eat? Mind you I do not buy the junk, she does! I have told her not to buy it and she does it anyway. The semester is almost over and she watches my kids while I'm gone and she gives my ODS too much milk and gives him 2 bags a chips while I'm gone. And the things hate the most is the soda. Again I do not buy soda, she does and when he sees her drinking it he points to the cup and she will give it to him and I always say no you know he's not supposed to drink soda but she always sys he wants it I can't say no. The other day I was at school and the juice ran out ( she was also the first one to give my ODS juice and also calls me crazy when I fill his cup 2/3 of water and tells me I need to let him enjoy the juice) and she wanted to know what to give him. So I said she he lovvvvves juice so much and hattttteees water why don't u give him water with lemon and she never responded. When I got home she told me she gave him soda BUT don't worry! She put water in it ;)
Now I know you will all say find new day care. My school day care charges $2 an hour and my spring schedule will have 14 total hours times 2 kids times 15 weeks in that semester and the total came up to more than $800. We don't NOT have that money. We are I the process of making cuts in our budget. I just canceled my gym membership and I will be canceling the 2 babies Gerber grow up plans and a few other things but day care can not be paid for since we only make $2750 a month and our rent is $1030.00 and then minus all our bills...
So really I'm looking on advice on how to get my mom to respect me as a young mother (I'm planning on weaning my ODS off the bottle in January while I'm not in school and I don't want her here to intervene cuz ya kno I was on the bottle until 3 1/2 and turned out ok), how can I tell her to gtfo without offended her and what should I do about child care? If we can't afford day care and I REALLY can't trust her to honor my rules then what should I do about school?
Thanks DWIL
I think my mom is great but we are way too enmeshed. She was always a bit overprotective but gave me my space. She wouldn't even call when I was out with friends unless it was late. then I got pregnant at 19 and married and all of that changed. While I was pregnant we stayed at my parents house for 6 months to save up money which worked out great and we finally moved out. When I did she called me everyday. She called me and would ask me about my DS and would come over to visit all the time. I was ok with this because it was my first time living with my new family and of course all my friends dropped me so I was lonely :(
ETA: I just deleted a bunch of info that I didn't copy and paste because I thought my post was super long. It took my 45 mins to finaih this but if there is BG needed let me know.
My dad passed away 2 weeks after my LO was born which was in FEB. My mom stayed at her apartment until the lease was up (April) and moved in to my place because she needed to figure out where she was going and how she was going to pay for everything. Right now she has a storage until for all her hoarding items but she has her bed in my living room. These months have been so so. She helps a lot with cooking and sometimes help me bathe the kids but I really want her out. Thankfully she already found a new apartment and the lease started on DEc 1 but she is still here...one thing I hate about my mom is that she is never in a rush. I don't understand how she could be ok with the fact that she is paying rent at one place but doesn't sleep there.....?? She says she needs to buy more furniture still and a tv. I really want her outta here already but I don't know what to say. Even if I did say something I'm sure she will just say "she has no time to do anything". Btw she works a 5am-9am shift and doesn't come back home until 8pm! Not that I care but most of the times she's at my aunts just sitting and eating and drinking coffee. Or sometimes she stays late at work because they tell her too and she just can't say no!
But I think my biggest problem is that she never listens to me when I say something and when I do she doesn't respect me. This is a whole other story but my ODS is VERY picky to the point where he used to gag and throw up at the sight, smell and touch of new foods but he has gotten much better since we made the switch to almos milk. She buys him potato chips and French fries because she knows he likes it and if he doesn't eat that then she always say omg what is he gonna eat???? Or if I say he takes so much shits a day most likely due to all the grease and she just says well if he doesn't eat that then what is he gonna eat? Mind you I do not buy the junk, she does! I have told her not to buy it and she does it anyway. The semester is almost over and she watches my kids while I'm gone and she gives my ODS too much milk and gives him 2 bags a chips while I'm gone. And the things hate the most is the soda. Again I do not buy soda, she does and when he sees her drinking it he points to the cup and she will give it to him and I always say no you know he's not supposed to drink soda but she always sys he wants it I can't say no. The other day I was at school and the juice ran out ( she was also the first one to give my ODS juice and also calls me crazy when I fill his cup 2/3 of water and tells me I need to let him enjoy the juice) and she wanted to know what to give him. So I said she he lovvvvves juice so much and hattttteees water why don't u give him water with lemon and she never responded. When I got home she told me she gave him soda BUT don't worry! She put water in it ;)
Now I know you will all say find new day care. My school day care charges $2 an hour and my spring schedule will have 14 total hours times 2 kids times 15 weeks in that semester and the total came up to more than $800. We don't NOT have that money. We are I the process of making cuts in our budget. I just canceled my gym membership and I will be canceling the 2 babies Gerber grow up plans and a few other things but day care can not be paid for since we only make $2750 a month and our rent is $1030.00 and then minus all our bills...
So really I'm looking on advice on how to get my mom to respect me as a young mother (I'm planning on weaning my ODS off the bottle in January while I'm not in school and I don't want her here to intervene cuz ya kno I was on the bottle until 3 1/2 and turned out ok), how can I tell her to gtfo without offended her and what should I do about child care? If we can't afford day care and I REALLY can't trust her to honor my rules then what should I do about school?
Thanks DWIL