Just looking for advice on how to handle my mil. I will try to sum it all up the best I can. She acts like she owns my 2.5 year old DD. She will just grab her from your hands without warning. She will just take off with her without telling anyone anything / where she is going. She buys her everything. We see her every week and I kid you not she has about ten new toys/clothes/jewerly for her every week. My DD actually says to her "WHat do you ahve for me". When we have family functions she hogs her the whole time and does not share her with other grandparents. She creates family drama everytime we get both families togther. She doesn't like my family and is rude and unfriendly. She completely ignores what my DH and i want with our kids, she ignores things we say like "DD needs sunscreen if we go to the park"....she always poopoo's everything and say oh she'll be fine. I have explained that my dad has melanoma and my moms mom had skin cancer. This is just one example of how she doesn't listen to us. She will completely ignore disrespect our requst several times in one visit. I also think she is negligent to some extent......like one time she let my DD stomp in some dirt at her house with no shoes on. Then her DH saw a nail and said oh there's a nail and picked it up. She then said oh that must b from the construction we had done. She then saw another nail. I said I think we should go play something else now and put shoes on. She said, "it's fine I think I got all the nails". She also let my 3 month old hold a silverwear fork in his hands...um.does she not realize babies move and flap their hands all the time. So I took the fork away. She tells people that I'm overprotective and watch her like a hawk. She also has sneaked gluten in our daughters food when we have said our daughter has a gluten allergy. She will tell us there is no wheat in the meal she makes and then one day we saw what she used and it said in big letters "contains wheat". A few months later I heard her ask my DH if he actually spoke to the doctor because basically she implied to him that I could be making up the allergies and the colitis. My husband set her straight. He has seem the bloody diapers multiple times now. My DH keeps having "talks" with her but it continues. Would u suggest I say something when she does this stuff or continue to let me DH do it. Also when she ignores my parenting choices should I say something in the moment? She asks to watch the kids etc...and we have decided not to ever let her but my DH doesn't want to tell her that flat out. He just makes up excuses. She pretty much doesn't like me but acts fake around me. I try hard to be nice. I haven't said anything to her. I usually just tell her things through the kids....i.e. "Oh let's go play somewhere honey and we ned to put our shoes on" instead of outright telling her. She is a bit controlling and thinking he way is always right. When my husband does talk with her she is defensive and brings up tihings she doesn't like that we have done. Also, she keeps asking when I'mn going to potty train etc and inplies that it would work if I did it her way. FYI I was a behavioral therapist for many years workimg with children and I have potty trained coountless kids. My lo is not ready and has no interest. Its been frustrating! Thoughts? ?
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