My mom is a bit of a boundary stomper but we've been able to shut her down most of the time... I have some background on here somewhere... my mom announced my pregnancy on Facebook before I did (on my birthday!) when I was like 10 weeks along so I didnt talk to her for 2 months. Then a month before DS was born we had to shut her down for calling him "our baby" ("I hate to break it to you but he's ours too") But shes been pretty ok since then.
I didn't tell ANYONE when I went into labor because of those boundary stomps and because of reading this board. I was induced because of hypertension at 40 weeks. I was in labor for 3 days and we didn't tell anyone until DS was here. No one even knew what hospital we were at until he was born and we invited them to visit...
Anyway, after giving birth, DS went to the NICU and we both were put on meds for a fever I had developed the morning before he was born. I was really sick and couldn't get out of bed. They told me I had a spinal headache from the epidural but it turned out to be post partum eclampsia and I had a seizure a week after DS was born and was re hospitalized the day he was released..
My parents and sisters had visited before I was released the first time and when I went back to the hospital, my DH called them to tell them what happened and ask for help because now he had a baby out of the hospital and a wife in the ER. So everyone came back and helped us out with a crib and taking care of the baby or staying with me at the hospital- whatever was needed. I dont remember much of this time.
That was pretty much background. YESTERDAY I was with my mom and during the course of our conversation, she said "It would've been nice if we had been told you were in labor." I probably Jaded too much when I told her that I didnt tell anyone because I didnt want them to know. She got pissed and started saying things like "we're your parents. You were sick. God forbid anything had happened to you, we wouldn't even have known anything had happened and it just would've been NICE to know."
I told her I'm a goddamn adult and I have a right to decide who is aware of my medical procedures. I wasn't sick when I went to the hospital. I got sick while I was there in labor. I told her that it wouldn't have made a difference to tell her when I went in because they wouldn't have been invited to the hospital anyway.
But she lectured me a little more and then I changed the subject.
This morning I'm pissed about having that conversation. And my question to you all is this: should I have just let them know I was going in to be induced? Was I wrong?
Also, what can I say to her if (when) this shit comes up again?
I didn't tell ANYONE when I went into labor because of those boundary stomps and because of reading this board. I was induced because of hypertension at 40 weeks. I was in labor for 3 days and we didn't tell anyone until DS was here. No one even knew what hospital we were at until he was born and we invited them to visit...
Anyway, after giving birth, DS went to the NICU and we both were put on meds for a fever I had developed the morning before he was born. I was really sick and couldn't get out of bed. They told me I had a spinal headache from the epidural but it turned out to be post partum eclampsia and I had a seizure a week after DS was born and was re hospitalized the day he was released..
My parents and sisters had visited before I was released the first time and when I went back to the hospital, my DH called them to tell them what happened and ask for help because now he had a baby out of the hospital and a wife in the ER. So everyone came back and helped us out with a crib and taking care of the baby or staying with me at the hospital- whatever was needed. I dont remember much of this time.
That was pretty much background. YESTERDAY I was with my mom and during the course of our conversation, she said "It would've been nice if we had been told you were in labor." I probably Jaded too much when I told her that I didnt tell anyone because I didnt want them to know. She got pissed and started saying things like "we're your parents. You were sick. God forbid anything had happened to you, we wouldn't even have known anything had happened and it just would've been NICE to know."
I told her I'm a goddamn adult and I have a right to decide who is aware of my medical procedures. I wasn't sick when I went to the hospital. I got sick while I was there in labor. I told her that it wouldn't have made a difference to tell her when I went in because they wouldn't have been invited to the hospital anyway.
But she lectured me a little more and then I changed the subject.
This morning I'm pissed about having that conversation. And my question to you all is this: should I have just let them know I was going in to be induced? Was I wrong?
Also, what can I say to her if (when) this shit comes up again?