I can't find my original post (stupid phone, and for some reason it's not coming up in my bookmarks) but I have an update and new question from DH and I. If anyone finds it, please link.
The last month has been pretty good. DH's contact with them has gone down drastically (~4 times in the last month between both his parents as opposed to multiple times a day). MIL seems to be punishing us because DH keeps getting the "you need to call your mother" message from FIL and GFIL, but she has only texted him once to ask about monitoring FIL after he fell while skiing and hit his head. (Could be big problems because of meds that FIL is on). DH has spoken to her twice since New Years - once was checking on GFIL briefly after surgery and the other was when FIL handed the phone to her.
We got no response to the santa gift being returned. I'm not really surprised, to be honest. She didnt' really respond to the pandora's box that started this whole thing being returned either.
---------------- Now we need advice/New (minor) issue
FIL has started calling me. The man has never called me once in the 10 years that DH and I have been together. His number wasn't blocked because I didn't even think about it, and forgot that it was even in my phone. The first was a few weeks ago and I ignored the VM because it was a question for his wife (how to work a kitchen tool) and DH and I both thought that it was beyond odd, but whatever. Still didn't block him because, again, not someone who has every really called me before and I got distracted with DS.
Then this week he called again. I answered because I was concerned something happened with his injury and he couldn't get ahold of DH since he was in surgery. Nope, he called to talk about the weather (asked if we were surviving the cold). And to ask if we could skype. And some "we really miss hearing (DS) say 'mimi and papa'" crap that made me want to puke because I am admitedly BEC with MIL. I said I would talk to DH and have him give them a call when we were available since I didn't know what his schedule was and then got off the phone very quickly.
The whole thing was very uncomfortable for me. Like I said, FIL has NEVER called me in the 10 years DH and I have been together. He doesn't talk to his own DD's on the phone that often yet suddenly I've gotten two phone calls in less than a month.
DH agrees that it is strange and didn't seem to happy about it. It did open up the conversation about what to do, because honestly I've been a little stressed not having this crap resolved with the baby coming at any time at this point (miwife says any time between now and my due date) and I'm still nervous about DH actually being on my side. Anyway, he's decided that he is finally ready to address all the crap. And wants to send a letter.
I think it's a bad idea. But at the same time we need to address this crap if there is ever any chance of resolving the issues. So does anyone have suggestions? DH has been good about bean dipping, but I'm afraid if he calls that he is going to end up jading and it's just not going to be good, so if he's going to do this a letter is probably better. Plus if it gets ignored like the two returned packages at least I can say well, we tried and wipe my hands of this crap.