BG http://community.babycenter.com/post/a47069299/well_they_know_were_pregnant_-_and_my_gold_star_mom
BG is TL;DR, Following manipulation by MIL threatening FILs suicide if DH didn't comply with their shit, PILs have been CO since November 2011 and were on a TO for a year before that for FIL being emotionally abusive and MIL the enabler; and MIL making PA jabs then gaslighting - and losing it after DH moved out at 19 to live with me (we are now 27 and 25) and got enraptured with my magic vagina. FIL never bothered to try us but MIL would send texts, cards, etc. Following a lawn tantrum this summer including MIL trying to open our doors when we didn't answer and us calling the cops and threatening legal action if she came over again, MIL has not contacted us since. There were two FMs which I truly don't think were sent by her, we BH, and she contacted my mom to pump her for info when I was 36 weeks and my mom shut her down.
We have had our squish and word has gotten back to MIL and FIL. We knew it would; small area, lots of acquaintances, MIL works at a job where lots of people who know us visit and DH used to work at a retailer by MILs house and he is still friends with some people there. We found out MIL had been pumping them all for information so we blocked those people on DH's debil. I considered canceling my accounts but I have to use social media for my PR/marketing business. We are both private and heavily filtered, but I'm sure that's how word got to them since not everyone in town is aware of the situation and some people are unicorns.
Anyway, about a week ago FM aunt and cousin text DH congrats asking if it was a girl or boy before they knew any details, or were pretending not to know any details, we BH as always. Today I get home from taking DS to the ped and there is a lovely arrangement of a plant and some blue flowers in front of my house (if only I had been home to refuse them!!) I open the card:
(DS name on card from florist and big card front)
Dear DH and OP,
We are so happy for you! This planter was DH's when he was a baby. I saved it for him, for his 1st child (is this even a thing? I'm not sentimental. I thought it was weird; save an outfit, sure, but a planter? God knows how much baby stuff she has lurking in her house that she wanted to give his firstborn...) Looking forward to meeting (DS name) soon. Thought that you also might like DH's birth announcement. Congratulations on baby (DS name)!
Love, Mom and Dad (heart)
(Don't think I didn't notice the excessive usage of DS's name so she can show us she found out even though we didn't tell her. PA bitch.)
Llama noms worth noting, we call DS by a nickname and apparently that hasn't gotten around to them which makes me chuckle if they're playing GPOTY and don't even know what to call him. My phone number was listed on the card, I assume bc DH has been BHing for so long they must assume he changed his number (they don't normally bother to try me.)
I am sure the right answer is to BH. But I did write a response to cleanse my mind and since it has been almost four years and our wedding that our unicorns invited them to in 2011 (our HUGE mistake that sent them mixed signals), I don't know that it's a bad idea to lay out our conditions for possible extreme LC again (a year of therapy and a positive note from the therapist) since it's been roughly 4 years and now there is a baby too so they may think the rules have changed (they haven't.)
I know what they did was unforgivable in the eyes of DWIL but I don't have a problem with them getting a Christmas card or whatever if they work on trying to improve themselves with therapy. Though I admit thinking about either of them holding newborn DS right now makes me downright stabby.
DH prefers BH but he trusts DWIL so he will let me do whatever is DWIL sanctioned. :-P Is this my postpartum unicorn showing? Happy to show said possible response on comments. I'm verbose if you haven't noticed and it is probably entirely too long.