So, my background is old and under at least two other screen names and so I don't think it would be a good use of time to link it up. In addition, I got locked out by the big BBC purge a few months ago, and had to make yet another account.
Sum up: newly alcoholic FIL, DuH who wanted us to still go down every summer during our only vacation and stay in their home for 10 days. I got him to not go, and we haven't been down for two years. I believe at last update, it was Father's Day, and enabler SIL called dh with drama, and the first time FIL's alcohlic antics had moved beyond simply being sort of goofy and out of it, and got dangerous. In essence, he threw a fit because the Father's Day dinner at SIL's didn't go his way, and wanted MIL to drive him up to the mountains to their gold claim where they now spend most of their time so he could pout and spend Father's Day alone. He told her if she didn't drive him, he'd drive himself, and she knew he was good and drunk so she agreed. That night a bear attacked their camper, and tore the side off of it, and FIL was too damn drunk to protect MIL. You'd think that would wake him up to his problem. But it didn't. DuH got ready to fly out there to handle the situation and have an intervention with FIL, but of course MIL, told him, and he said no son, don't come out here.
He didn't go. But he told FIL he needed to get into rehab or it was going to affect their relationship. A couple weeks later we got a letter asking us for money to help FIL enroll in some holistic addiction treatment quackery that was mainly conducted online and through by mail supplements. We black holed that ridiculous request.
It's been low contact ever since. Talked to them on the holidays. And I think my dh spoke to MIL sometime in late Jan just to check in.
Anyway, got this email on Valentines Day,
Hello my beautiful family!
I would like to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day and let you know you are in my heart even though we are far away. Looking forward to our visit with you this spring.
Love,
MIL
I was like HUH? What visit? The only thing I could think of, was SIL and DH (yes, he's totally a DH now, thank you therapy.) had briefly talked about dates for our niece's graduation party and whether or not we could make it. Turns out our Aspiring Drummer has spring Drumline camp that week, so no. We told SIL we wouldn't be coming.
So, I texted dh and asked if he had talked to his Mom about us coming this spring (we had also talked about taking the kids to Disney after spring Drumline camp, and possibly stopping in to visit sil and our neices and nephews, but I thought that was just between Dh and me, as we hadn't decided yet.) or if she was just making an assumption that we'd be there for Graduation. Since that is just what faaaaamily does. (Dh missed a state swim meet in high school because a cousin was graduating, no matter that he worked his ass off all year to be favorited to win his race)
He told me she's just making assumptions.
So, my question is: Do we black hole this email or do we disabuse them of any notion of a visit. We've personally drawn a line that we are not going to see them until FIL is sober for at least 6 months, and both MIL and SIL have had codependency therapy. We just aren't bringing our kids into that mess. We just haven't declared that. DH has preferred to just keep them extremely low contact and deal mainly with his mother.
What to do?