So this is my first time posting here... I don't love my in laws but don't necessarily hate them. They are annoying... But after reading some horror stories I am terrified. I am curious as to who on here may have seen signs of in laws going psycho after baby comes and if it ended up being no big deal or full on baby rabie psychosis...
1) my mil (not married yet but using this as short hand-getting married next summer) has been hounding me and DH for a baby for two years now. We constantly told her no and ended with my gpil telling her to mind her own business (love him). But she has hounded her other three children (all whom are addicts and not even in a relationship) to get someone pregnant so she could have grandkids. Lo and behold, her son does get someone pregnant on accident (a stripper who did NOT want the baby) and ended the pregnancy. Mil was pissed because she assumed they wouldn't be able to care for the baby (she was correct) and would send the child to her to raise. This is all after saying she wants to try for one more baby. So I know she's having baby fever (she's too old to have kids-not sure where that delusion is coming from)
2) she was obviously overjoyed when we announced our pregnancy. But soon after tried to tell me that I needed to send the baby to live with her for three years while I finish college. I laughed assuming she was joking. However, she later told me she expects to have "split custody" In where she gets the baby Friday to Sunday. I told her no, because I am breastfeeding. She told me that I can pump and drop everything at her house, that the baby would e fine without me feeding it. This just about pushed me to tears because she made me feel like my child won't need me.
3) she continuously says how my child will be just like DH but never mentions me, I feel like I am being treated as an incubator and nothing more than that.
Now for SIL...
1) she has started forming some addiction habits (drugs and alcohol) and doesn't seem to think this is an issue when being around kids. She has a severe case of baby rabies and has been planning her pregnancy for a while, even though she is only 18 and single.
2) she tried demanding to be in the gender scan to which I shut down immediately. She then told me to have the US tech seal the gender in an Envelope so only she would know (since she couldn't be there) and could plan a huge gender release. I also shut this down immediately. And CBF.
3) she found out that we knew the gender and would be releasing it via gender release cake to my family and lost it. She wanted to be the first to know (before us even!) and the fact that someone else was finding out first made her nuts to which she started calling her family screaming and crying and cursing. She hasn't spoken to me since.
4) she knows I don't have much experience with kids (I'll learn) and told me she would be coming to my house to help me "raise them" to which I didn't respond.
5) she babysits for my DH best friend and actually had the audacity to take the baby to her house across town and when the mother insisted she return the child she refused for over two hours. The mother also told me that on many occasions she has asked for her baby back and SIL will not hand her over saying that the baby wants her and not the mother.
Do I have reason to be freaking out or should I wait and see how it plays out? I am terrified I will be fighting people off who seem to think my baby won't need me ( this really hurts to think that because my doctor said I had a very small chance of conceiving so in extra possessive right now I think). And I'm paranoid that SIL will show up and steal my baby like she did with the other girl and refuse to return her. I know if it happens I will freak out and call the police off the bat. I had a mental breakdown on DH about how his mother was going to try and take my baby away (I think this stems from crazy pregnancy hormones and watching my mom have me taken away when I was younger). I am trying to grow a spine, and my DH said he will put anyone in their place who tries to do take the baby or overstep boundaries but I feel like every day I am freaking out that SIL will show up and take off with my baby or mil will sue for grandparent rights if I say no. Am I being irrational??
1) my mil (not married yet but using this as short hand-getting married next summer) has been hounding me and DH for a baby for two years now. We constantly told her no and ended with my gpil telling her to mind her own business (love him). But she has hounded her other three children (all whom are addicts and not even in a relationship) to get someone pregnant so she could have grandkids. Lo and behold, her son does get someone pregnant on accident (a stripper who did NOT want the baby) and ended the pregnancy. Mil was pissed because she assumed they wouldn't be able to care for the baby (she was correct) and would send the child to her to raise. This is all after saying she wants to try for one more baby. So I know she's having baby fever (she's too old to have kids-not sure where that delusion is coming from)
2) she was obviously overjoyed when we announced our pregnancy. But soon after tried to tell me that I needed to send the baby to live with her for three years while I finish college. I laughed assuming she was joking. However, she later told me she expects to have "split custody" In where she gets the baby Friday to Sunday. I told her no, because I am breastfeeding. She told me that I can pump and drop everything at her house, that the baby would e fine without me feeding it. This just about pushed me to tears because she made me feel like my child won't need me.
3) she continuously says how my child will be just like DH but never mentions me, I feel like I am being treated as an incubator and nothing more than that.
Now for SIL...
1) she has started forming some addiction habits (drugs and alcohol) and doesn't seem to think this is an issue when being around kids. She has a severe case of baby rabies and has been planning her pregnancy for a while, even though she is only 18 and single.
2) she tried demanding to be in the gender scan to which I shut down immediately. She then told me to have the US tech seal the gender in an Envelope so only she would know (since she couldn't be there) and could plan a huge gender release. I also shut this down immediately. And CBF.
3) she found out that we knew the gender and would be releasing it via gender release cake to my family and lost it. She wanted to be the first to know (before us even!) and the fact that someone else was finding out first made her nuts to which she started calling her family screaming and crying and cursing. She hasn't spoken to me since.
4) she knows I don't have much experience with kids (I'll learn) and told me she would be coming to my house to help me "raise them" to which I didn't respond.
5) she babysits for my DH best friend and actually had the audacity to take the baby to her house across town and when the mother insisted she return the child she refused for over two hours. The mother also told me that on many occasions she has asked for her baby back and SIL will not hand her over saying that the baby wants her and not the mother.
Do I have reason to be freaking out or should I wait and see how it plays out? I am terrified I will be fighting people off who seem to think my baby won't need me ( this really hurts to think that because my doctor said I had a very small chance of conceiving so in extra possessive right now I think). And I'm paranoid that SIL will show up and steal my baby like she did with the other girl and refuse to return her. I know if it happens I will freak out and call the police off the bat. I had a mental breakdown on DH about how his mother was going to try and take my baby away (I think this stems from crazy pregnancy hormones and watching my mom have me taken away when I was younger). I am trying to grow a spine, and my DH said he will put anyone in their place who tries to do take the baby or overstep boundaries but I feel like every day I am freaking out that SIL will show up and take off with my baby or mil will sue for grandparent rights if I say no. Am I being irrational??