This is going to sound so petty, I know. I've lurked a long time but changed my name for this because old SN included my last name. I've read the sticky. Before you flame, yes, I know, im a horrible person.
My SIL is perfect.
No, seriously.
She's beautiful, charming, and the life of the party. We have a running joke that she's way to good for my brother, and we act like we're all kidding but I'm sure everyone means it. She's the kind of person who says she has 3 young kids, and you don't believe her because she's in such good shape and runs marathons and never has messy hair. She makes good money from home so she gets to raise her kids without daycare, she has a college degree, she has this impeccable garden (we all live in the outskirts of a city) with fruit trees, chickens, and even two goddamn milk goats that she makes herb-cheeses and soaps from! Are you serious?! She makes home made pasta...as in the actual noodles. their kids are extremely well behaved, and she makes the youngest's baby food from what they grow in their garden. There's more to how perfect she is but you get it. Believe me the list goes on.
There's no other way to say it except this: I'm bitterly jealous. She is really sweet, but she's just my BEC. She brings over flowers, fresh fruit, chicken eggs and her home made soap -and it's all so nice - but she stays to chat for like an hour at a time while the kids play. She doesn't brag, but somehow I still feel like she's throwing it in my face? She isn't. I'm the one with the problem.
I know I should be grateful for her kindness ( and her organic produce which is always better than the store fruits and veggies I buy). That's why I'm here: how do you get over your BEC? I want to actually LIKE her, not just tolerate her. Is this a problem for therapy?
My parents always compare us, too. "SIL finished school, SIL keeps her home spotless, SIL cooked us all an amazing dinner the other night, why didn't you come?" My mom once said something critical about my lawn (it's just grass that's kind of dead) and said "maybe SIL can go over since you obviously need help at your house." SIL immediately defended me and said "No, your house is adorable. Don't listen to her." She later sent a text that said "I hope you didn't think I don't want to help you if you ever need it, I just didn't like the way she was trying to put your beautiful home down." See what I mean?
To be honest I feel like I don't even compare as a woman or mother, though I try as hard as I can.
What would you do? I know I'm just jealous. I just can't seem to get over it already.
My SIL is perfect.
No, seriously.
She's beautiful, charming, and the life of the party. We have a running joke that she's way to good for my brother, and we act like we're all kidding but I'm sure everyone means it. She's the kind of person who says she has 3 young kids, and you don't believe her because she's in such good shape and runs marathons and never has messy hair. She makes good money from home so she gets to raise her kids without daycare, she has a college degree, she has this impeccable garden (we all live in the outskirts of a city) with fruit trees, chickens, and even two goddamn milk goats that she makes herb-cheeses and soaps from! Are you serious?! She makes home made pasta...as in the actual noodles. their kids are extremely well behaved, and she makes the youngest's baby food from what they grow in their garden. There's more to how perfect she is but you get it. Believe me the list goes on.
There's no other way to say it except this: I'm bitterly jealous. She is really sweet, but she's just my BEC. She brings over flowers, fresh fruit, chicken eggs and her home made soap -and it's all so nice - but she stays to chat for like an hour at a time while the kids play. She doesn't brag, but somehow I still feel like she's throwing it in my face? She isn't. I'm the one with the problem.
I know I should be grateful for her kindness ( and her organic produce which is always better than the store fruits and veggies I buy). That's why I'm here: how do you get over your BEC? I want to actually LIKE her, not just tolerate her. Is this a problem for therapy?
My parents always compare us, too. "SIL finished school, SIL keeps her home spotless, SIL cooked us all an amazing dinner the other night, why didn't you come?" My mom once said something critical about my lawn (it's just grass that's kind of dead) and said "maybe SIL can go over since you obviously need help at your house." SIL immediately defended me and said "No, your house is adorable. Don't listen to her." She later sent a text that said "I hope you didn't think I don't want to help you if you ever need it, I just didn't like the way she was trying to put your beautiful home down." See what I mean?
To be honest I feel like I don't even compare as a woman or mother, though I try as hard as I can.
What would you do? I know I'm just jealous. I just can't seem to get over it already.