My mom called me earlier today and asked if my girls and I would like to meet her at the park. Okay, great.
Here's the problem with my mom. She is SOOOOOO overprotective and cautious. I wouldn't call myself laid back but compared to her it probably looks like I don't care at all. I have a very rambuncious 18mo who trips and falls and just gets right back up. She's a fearless child. And she's the kind of kid who doesn't want help and has to figure things out for herself.
Anyway, we're at the park, my 18mo goes to climb onto a bench, my mom RUSHES over to steady her (YDD is maybe 3 feet from me). I say "mom, she's FINE! Let her climb." My mom ignores me. I continue "mom. I said leave her alone." Her response, "I'm just watching out for her so you don't have to. Just because you've become a (INSERT MY MARRIED LAST NAME)."
BG: My family is SUPER anal and overprotective and high strung about everything. My inlaw's are laid back. Again, compared to my family, they seem to not care at all. They do care, just not as obvious and annoyingly as my FOO.
At a recent Sunday dinner at my parents hosue (we rarely go to dinner, we were just there because grandma was in from out of state), DH was outside with YDD and my brother saw through the window that she was headed for the stairs that go off the deck. He just said "hey, (YDD) is headed for the stairs." My dad SCREAMED "Go get (YDD)!!!!! WATCH your child!!! " I said "DH is watching her, butt out and don't tell me what to do." My dad truly thinks that because DH is a (my LAST NAME) and not as anal as my FOO, he must not be capable of watching our kids. I don't know what more I can say to my parents. I've told them that I take offense when they talk about my DH and my IL's that way. I told them to stop it. They think their way is the only way. My dad hates that I let my FIL take my kids on hikes every week, just him and my 5yo and 18mo. My dad thinks he couldn't possibly watch them close enough because he's a (LAST NAME.) Guess which grandpa my kids prefer?
Also today at the park, my 18mo was climbing into a stroller. She got a little wobbly so I got up quickly (as quickly as my 8 month pregant self can get up) to help her. My mom literally pushed me out of the way to get to her faster. Dafaq? Did she really just PUSH me?!
I don't know what else I can say to them. They have the attitude of "we've been parents longer than you and you can't get mad at us for protecting our graaaandbaaaabies." And the kicker "you've become too much like your IL's, YOU don't care enough about your kids."(They haven't said this word for word, but it has been implied many times.)
I don't have a lot of faith that they'll change. But I need help with consequences when they continue to talk bad about my DH and IL's, and my abilities as a mother. It should be noted that part of the reason they have such issues with my IL's (I think they choose to harp on the "laid back" issue so they don't have to admit this) is because they are jealous of my IL's. We prefer to be with them and we're with them at least once a week, sometimes more.(Sunday dinner, saturday night movies, game nights, vacations, any excuse to hang out. We're really close to DH's siblings and their families as well as his parents.)
I think I'm a little unicorny with DS coming soon. But what I've said in the past (like "stop it" and "just because they're not anal like you, dad..") obviously hasn't helped so I've got to turn it up a notch.