Advice needed, sent over from May 14 *UPDATE PG 7*

Vent, long....

So DH calls me on his break like always and tells me he talked to his mother today. Cool so what's up I ask. Oh she just wants to know if she can have Ds for a week over the summer. She is getting all the family kids and taking them around to different places. I instantly said I am not comfortable with that so no. First off, she lives 2 hours away and Ds (just turned 2) has never spent the night with her. She stayed with us for a few weeks in the guest room, but DS was always with me. Secondly, she couldn't even lift Ds if she tried, he is 27lbs, she can't get him in and out of the car or car seat....she doesn't even have a carseat! Third, I am NOT allowing your mother to drive my son to the Newport aquarium(ANOTHER STATE), kings island, Cincinnati Zoo, back up to Columbus (where we live). He is the youngest and she is trying to have 6 kids with her to take....NO WAY! His first reply was, well my aunt will be going down to help her out....Again NOW WAY! Ds doesn't know your aunt...again not allowing them to drive my child all around the southern part of state into another state. These two ladies 60 yo each, are not going to be able to keep up with all these kids of different ages and keep a close eye on Ds, again he just turned two....just no! So he is mad I say we will discuss this later since you are at work. I'm a wreck crying because I am so mad that he thinks I will let me baby go that far away with people he is not used to! How do I tell him no and leave it at that????

Second he then says his mom asked if she could come up on Tuesday and he said yes. Tuesday in my induction date...So I then tell him she won't be in the room. He is like, oh I dont know...i then went to say, NO I'm telling you she is not allowed in the room. He gets mad and yells why?!?! Because I don't even want my own mother in the delivery room why would I want yours?!?! You didn't even ask! He then said no not that room, the room you go in after. Oh ok, fine, but why is she coming Tuesday? I dont even know when I will be having the baby. This woman will be sitting in the waiting room for an unknown amount of time....why would you even say yes? He said it was his mothers choice if she wants to sit out there. Agreed, it is her choice, but I dont want you to be going in and out of the room trying to keep her company and bugging me asking if she can come in...no she will not be allowed in the delivery room EVER! The ONLY reason my own mother will be there is because I want my pictures when the baby comes. I will call her when I am 5-7cm to come up. My mother had struck rules, no talking during pushing, please respect it is our time to bond with Ds and enjoy our moments as a new family. She did great and respected all of my wishes when Ds was born, didn't go below my shoulders, and even left after she got a few skim to skin pictures and was gone the rest of the day until I allowed visitors. So no, your mother will not be allowed in. I didn't even want my mom there. Not to mention, she will NOT come to the recovery room as soon as I get in there! I want to shower, nurse and bond with lo a little before she is even in the room. I didn't allow anyone for 12 hours after Ds was born and that was my plan this time. I suggested he ask her to come wednesday. We will for sure have a baby that day and I will already be cleaned up and everything. He got mad!!! He got mad because I didn't know how long the induction would take and didn't want his mother who would make a 2 hour drive, to come up for no reason! She needs to be home before dark, so if I dont have lo before 4pm she would have come up for no reason at all...so why not offer her the option to come up Wednesday and be able to stay a couple hours? No waiting or anything, just come and enjoy baby...

I eventually broke down in tears and told him I was getting off the phone. He said whatever and hung up....Awesome....

How can I handle both of these situations?!?! Did I over react to anything? I didn't think I was being unreasonable about her coming Wednesday. Instead, and I don't think it is unreasonable to be concerned about my sons safety with her...