This is my first post, I usually lurk (because reading these makes me feel better that I'm not the only one with a crazy ass MOO)
So a little background, my mom and I have never really seen eye to eye and the entire extent of our relationship can be summed up with the phrase "sarcastic humor"
Anyway after what can only be considered an entirely emotionally abusive childhood we slowely but surely started to mend patches and fix things, and they were seeming alright.
I graduated college last May and moved in with my DF about an hour and a half from where my ENTIRE FAMILY lives. Between May and November we visited a few times and because my parents are trying to clean up the house to sell it, we always got comments like "we found your old crib, it will work great for when your baby visits us, even though it was recalled, I mean your survived."
Well at the time we didn't put any weight on the situation because we weren't planning on ever having children. Also, up until now my parents raved about how much they liked my DF, thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Anyway FFW to November on some random Tuesday DF gets a job offer for a position thats 100 times better than what hes doing now, thats about 2 hours away from where we were living, putting my fam about 4 hours away. Within the next week we found out that we were expecting.
We were estatic, but skeptical. We knew that due to both of our health factors this would be a one in a million chance, and we decided to go forward with the pregnancy, nomatter what happened. But we also decided not to tell anyone until we knew that things would be safe.
So FFW again to my 20 wk mark. I was diagnosed with PreEclampsia and we were told that if we could hold out to 28weeks then there was a fairly high chance that she would survive. I was put on all kinds of medicines, including steriods, and that was when we decided to tell everyone. My DFs parents were estatic, my mom however, lost her shit.
The first things she said to me were "we aren't going to throw you a shower until the baby is born just in case she dies" and "I hope she isn't deformed like DF" (who has really mild cerebral palsy, hes not like the hunchback or freaking Pennsylvania). I chose to just brush those comments off as my mom in shock, and move on with life.
A couple weeks later we went to have a 3-D ultrasound done and invited mine and his family, mine was much bigger, and louder, and more obnoxious, as they always are everywhere. After the Ultrasound we thought all of us could go out and eat or go shopping but instead my family wanted to go back to my e and have a "chat". My mother asked us to kick out my DF's family, which we obliged to do, not to let mom win, but more to not let his elderly aunt be exposed to the BSC that we knew was coming.
My mom then proceeded to scream at me in my livingroom for not telling her sooner, and informed me that I was "taking all the fun out of this expirience for her and my dad." Mind you, I have not been having fun, I have been in hospitals, bed resting and over medicated to the point where at 30 weeks we still only have half a coat of paint on the nursery.
DF got angry and told her if she wasnt going to be nice, to get out. She went outside and locked herself in her car. When I went out to try and salvage things she told me "I was destroying my family".
I was REALLY upset, mostly because noone else in my family could think to say anything besides my adorable poppy who made sure to hug me and tell me he loved me before he left.
After trying to be nice, I ended up apologizing for waiting to tell her (without recieving an apology back) and thats when things got really BSC. She told me that my DF was completely abusive, forced me to leave my parents, forced me to get pregnant, forced me to move so far away and would just leave me as soon as I popped out my LO, you know becuase shes going to be deformed. She told me it would be the biggest mistake of my life to give her his last name, and while we were on the subject of names...the one we chose was stupid and she didn't like it because it wasn't a proper "american" name.
We stopped talking but she showed up to my doc appt later that week and when my doc didn't have time to talk to her she stormed out and made a scene in the Dr office, and then once again locked herself in her car. I never responded to to any of the stupid things shes said since then but early this week she sent me an email stating that "you planned this baby because you hate me and wanted to ruin my good time being a grandmother" "I know DF convinced you to do this, so if you leave him now, I will forgive you and help you raise the baby." I simply couldn't. I deleted the message and called my grandma for emotional support. She informed me that mom was threatening to cut my whole family off from my (VERY VERY SICK) little brother if they chose to take my side or talk to me at all.
So even though I have no problem CO my mom completely, shes got this crazy hold on my family, and they don't know what to do. Not to mention I went to the doc yesterday and had to be put on anxiety medication because I was so close to going into preterm labor.
I just needed to vent, and feel sorry for my DF.