Need help making a saying about help that is not helpful

You can see my problem from the title.


So many of the threads I read here talk about ILs "just trying to help" and "coming to help after the baby is born." My MIL "helps" all the time.


But if I do not feel helped, did that person help me?


I'm looking for a succinct one-liner that sums up "It's not helping if the person you're helping doesn't feel helped."


Except less confusing.


Any ideas?