I don't think this needs any real background, but u can provide some if needed.
**trigger**
My ILs are housing MILs brother in their home while he awaits a trial on child pornography possession charges. He admits to having them in his possession when he wants arrested.
His arrest was almost a year ago. My iLs live only 20 minutes away.naturally my husband and I (along with BILs) were devastated that they would take UiL into their home knowing we could no longer be there (we have a toddler). BiL2 was barely 19 at the time this went down and told his parents he wasn't comfortable with having his uncle stay at the home he resided at. ILs disregarded them. We didn't talk to them for months.
Anyway My spine pretty much vanished a few months ago when I learned his trial was coming up so I started to have MIL over very very occasionally (1x month) so we could rebuild and eventually have things the way they used to be. Things did get better.
That trial has now been pushed off three times and as of today I have no idea what's going on- just that he's still living there and the original court date was supposed to be 3 months ago.
My husband is ready for them to just come over whenever it works into our schedule and I'm now back to feeling like if they can make a decision that makes it impossible for us to be in their home, why should I welcome them into ours? (I do hope the guy gets the help he needs but having a minor child we can't be apart of his recovery - obviously.) my hurt is more focused on the ILs totally making the family dynamic messed up because they really feel they have to help him out. It has isolated my DH dd and myself and made my BILs extremely uncomfortable. Any meetings we have now have to be in a neutral spot and we've all been resentful.
Anyway. Without getting ahead of myself, am I crazy for not wanting to open my home up to them right now? Should my husbands feelings be considered more than my own? He feels if we were to say it still hurts that we are cast out that it would be like taking two steps back in resolving the issue at large.
**trigger**
I need to add that I feel even more connected to this because I was part of a 15 month long investigation re: child porn after my best friends father was found dumping some behind a drugstore. None were taken of me but the entire ordeal was emotionally scarring.
**trigger**
My ILs are housing MILs brother in their home while he awaits a trial on child pornography possession charges. He admits to having them in his possession when he wants arrested.
His arrest was almost a year ago. My iLs live only 20 minutes away.naturally my husband and I (along with BILs) were devastated that they would take UiL into their home knowing we could no longer be there (we have a toddler). BiL2 was barely 19 at the time this went down and told his parents he wasn't comfortable with having his uncle stay at the home he resided at. ILs disregarded them. We didn't talk to them for months.
Anyway My spine pretty much vanished a few months ago when I learned his trial was coming up so I started to have MIL over very very occasionally (1x month) so we could rebuild and eventually have things the way they used to be. Things did get better.
That trial has now been pushed off three times and as of today I have no idea what's going on- just that he's still living there and the original court date was supposed to be 3 months ago.
My husband is ready for them to just come over whenever it works into our schedule and I'm now back to feeling like if they can make a decision that makes it impossible for us to be in their home, why should I welcome them into ours? (I do hope the guy gets the help he needs but having a minor child we can't be apart of his recovery - obviously.) my hurt is more focused on the ILs totally making the family dynamic messed up because they really feel they have to help him out. It has isolated my DH dd and myself and made my BILs extremely uncomfortable. Any meetings we have now have to be in a neutral spot and we've all been resentful.
Anyway. Without getting ahead of myself, am I crazy for not wanting to open my home up to them right now? Should my husbands feelings be considered more than my own? He feels if we were to say it still hurts that we are cast out that it would be like taking two steps back in resolving the issue at large.
**trigger**
I need to add that I feel even more connected to this because I was part of a 15 month long investigation re: child porn after my best friends father was found dumping some behind a drugstore. None were taken of me but the entire ordeal was emotionally scarring.