So... DH and I went out to eat last night. This was a place that we have talked about wanting to try for a a year and a half (including to his parents, who then said they would never stray from the Japanese restaurant they have always gone to and tried to guilt us for wanting to try this new place). Well every time we've tried to go our plans have fallen through. Then two months ago his mother tried to take Dh out to eat there. He told her no. She's been pushing this past week or so to go out for lunch or dinner because she needs to talk to him. He didn't want to go eat with her, so he just stopped by after work one day...for two/three hours. And she refused to talk about it at her house. As she walked him to the door she told him they would be going out to dinner on Tuesday, and then shut the door before he could respond. He did not go, and told her he was sick (he was). So she wanted to go yesterday and he told her it wouldn't work because we had plans.
DH's birthday is this weekend. We always do something with his parents on his birthday, so we left the entire weekend clear for them in case they had plans. However, we still wanted to go out together to celebrate it. The only time we ever go out on a date without the children are for our birthdays normally, and it's nice to have that alone time. So we went last night even though both of us weren't feeling the greatest, it was the only opportunity this week and we'd already had it planned. We get back and DH got to try raw sushi for the first time (he's wanted to for a long time). He txt his parents a picture of the sushi and the sushi menu (it was huge!) and said the name of the restaurant under that. He was excited and thought they would be too, because his father likes sushi, and this selection was bigger than we had seen before. This is the conversation that followed:
MIL: are you there?
DH: was
MIL: tonight?
DH: yes
MIL: glad you're feeling better. Hope it was good. Maybe one day I'll be important enough to have dinner with too.
DH: neither of us are feeling great actually. Only opportunity for birthday dinner though.
MIL: birthday dinner?
DH: yep
MIL: sure okay. Guess you're busy Sunday? Unable for dinner?
MIL: never mind. I'm glad you had a good time and got to try that place finally.
(Received at the same time DH sent this:)
DH: no, it was the only time for us to go out. We left Sunday open for any plans you guys might have.
(We actually left the entire fucking weekend open, but he didn't want her to think that meant we'd spend the entire weekend with her)
MIL: It'd be nice if you'd communicate things like that and it'd be nice when someone (especially your mother) wants to get together with you that you find the time. More so if there is something coming up.
DH: communicate what? How does that effect anything you had planned? Part of the reason I have not made plans with you is because both of us are sick. Which was borne out tonight that we do not feel well.
MIL: I don't feel well and still want to see you. If you are purposefully not planning Sunday anything so we can see you then that's what you can communicate.
DH: that is what we do every year. We tend to leave at the very least the afternoon/evening of every holiday or other important day for you guys.
MIL: ok. I'll put you down for all major days from henceforth.
DH: well it's good to know it has to be on a calendar to remember we'll be available.
MIL: DH, there's been days I haven't even heard from you.
DH: if I am sick on the day, or something to that effect, then that sorta changes the situation.
MIL: a phone call can go a long way. I'm sick and I still want to talk to you or see you.
DH: there's times I feel badly enough that my wife doesn't even hear from me cause I can't move from bed, so a phone call is out of the question.
MIL: then you need to see a doctor.
DH wanted to say "and you need to see a psychiatrist" but he didn't. So ladies, what do you take from the conversation? We thought that she is pissed because he dared to take me out instead of her and is totally unreasonable. She knew we had plans with them this weekend. Last week we were talking about where to eat for his birthday. However, I have a feeling FIL is going to jump down his throat today about being disrespectful to his mother. That's normally what happens, but I won't know til DH is home from work.
DH's birthday is this weekend. We always do something with his parents on his birthday, so we left the entire weekend clear for them in case they had plans. However, we still wanted to go out together to celebrate it. The only time we ever go out on a date without the children are for our birthdays normally, and it's nice to have that alone time. So we went last night even though both of us weren't feeling the greatest, it was the only opportunity this week and we'd already had it planned. We get back and DH got to try raw sushi for the first time (he's wanted to for a long time). He txt his parents a picture of the sushi and the sushi menu (it was huge!) and said the name of the restaurant under that. He was excited and thought they would be too, because his father likes sushi, and this selection was bigger than we had seen before. This is the conversation that followed:
MIL: are you there?
DH: was
MIL: tonight?
DH: yes
MIL: glad you're feeling better. Hope it was good. Maybe one day I'll be important enough to have dinner with too.
DH: neither of us are feeling great actually. Only opportunity for birthday dinner though.
MIL: birthday dinner?
DH: yep
MIL: sure okay. Guess you're busy Sunday? Unable for dinner?
MIL: never mind. I'm glad you had a good time and got to try that place finally.
(Received at the same time DH sent this:)
DH: no, it was the only time for us to go out. We left Sunday open for any plans you guys might have.
(We actually left the entire fucking weekend open, but he didn't want her to think that meant we'd spend the entire weekend with her)
MIL: It'd be nice if you'd communicate things like that and it'd be nice when someone (especially your mother) wants to get together with you that you find the time. More so if there is something coming up.
DH: communicate what? How does that effect anything you had planned? Part of the reason I have not made plans with you is because both of us are sick. Which was borne out tonight that we do not feel well.
MIL: I don't feel well and still want to see you. If you are purposefully not planning Sunday anything so we can see you then that's what you can communicate.
DH: that is what we do every year. We tend to leave at the very least the afternoon/evening of every holiday or other important day for you guys.
MIL: ok. I'll put you down for all major days from henceforth.
DH: well it's good to know it has to be on a calendar to remember we'll be available.
MIL: DH, there's been days I haven't even heard from you.
DH: if I am sick on the day, or something to that effect, then that sorta changes the situation.
MIL: a phone call can go a long way. I'm sick and I still want to talk to you or see you.
DH: there's times I feel badly enough that my wife doesn't even hear from me cause I can't move from bed, so a phone call is out of the question.
MIL: then you need to see a doctor.
DH wanted to say "and you need to see a psychiatrist" but he didn't. So ladies, what do you take from the conversation? We thought that she is pissed because he dared to take me out instead of her and is totally unreasonable. She knew we had plans with them this weekend. Last week we were talking about where to eat for his birthday. However, I have a feeling FIL is going to jump down his throat today about being disrespectful to his mother. That's normally what happens, but I won't know til DH is home from work.