Kind of cross posted on the Food Allergies board, but I knew this topic would ultimately need your input!
We recently discovered that DD is allergic to walnuts. By discovered I mean we spent 2 days in a PICU after 3 shots of epi, ambulance rides, hospital transfers, etc. All in all, not my best week. 
So I'm very new to the world of Food Allergies and am now entering a new phase of struggling with my ILs. Looking for advice on how to approach visits, food brought to the house, babysitting, etc.
First conflict that came up yesterday was that we were supposed to be going to ILs camp several hours away next week. I didn't want to go anyway but that's beside the point. I am absolutely against going now for a couple of reasons.
A) This information is a week old. The reaction happened last week. We have barely gotten our arms around this. We haven't even gotten our own house "nut free" yet so I'm not comfortable sleeping / eating at someone else's house.
B) The nearest hospital is 40 minutes away.
C) We don't even know what her allergies are right now. She reacted to walnuts, but she's been exposed to them before with no problem. We have no idea what else this may have triggered and it will likely be months before we get some better answers (next appointment is in 6 weeks)
Now DH backed down and agreed, but I'm just waiting for his mom to start in. She already started in with how she's been trained on epi pens and on food allergies (she's a teacher).
So my question is, how do you deal with family / friends who just don't get it? I don't mean JADEing, because this is all so new and I want to make sure I have a consistent message to people about how we have to deal with this.
My parents have been good so far, probably overreaching (throwing away all nuts in their house even though we're barely ever over there)
Soooo... any stories I can share with DH? Words of wisdom?