Long time lurker on here, just made an account to be able to actually post. I've reached the end of my rope with my fiancé's family and the way they treat my son and I. My FMIL hasn't called me or been over since Mother's Day. Now I know a lot of you would consider me lucky, and to tell you the truth I'm not complaining either, but she didn't leave me ALONE after the first month my son was born and now nothing (he is 4 months now). I know it's nothing I said or did, but something is up her ass. It's beginning to cause major fights in our home, because I don't believe it's fair to walk in and out of a child's life whenever you feel like it even though my son is obviously too young to understand yet, but that's exactly what she's doing. All DuF does is make excuses for her and her actions. She favors her other grandson and has pictures of him framed all over the place but not once did she ever ask us for pictures of our son. I told DuF tonight from now on I refuse to go anywhere where it's blatantly in my face that our LO is treated differently, and that started an argument. He said I don't make enough of an effort with his mother. Excuse me, but I'm a SAHM and my phone is ALWAYS on! Granted, I may not always be available to answer but I have never not returned any of her phone calls. Early on she was very overbearing, almost making me feel like she thought I was incompetent literally calling me everyday to ask about things (I'm a FTM) but I'm 28 years old, an adult, and my son was very colic for the first 3 months of his life and between him screaming his head off or me actually trying to get some sleep when he did sleep, I did not always answer when she called. But like I said, I called back when I got a chance. I don't know whether that's her issue with me or not, because the last time I returned her call at a later time my call was never returned by HER. The very blatant favoritism and her very obvious lack of care and or concern for my LO has me completely turned off to her, and FSIL for that matter. I overheard DuF on the phone with both of them earlier and FSIL wants to come over and visit on Saturday (she's in from out of town) and FMIL allegedly wants to see us at some point as well. I don't know what to do. FSIL I guess I could tolerate a visit from, but I do not want anything to do with FMIL. I don't know whether I should just bite the bullet and go over to her condo with DuF and LO and lay all the cards on the table with her about my feelings, or just stay away. Eventually I assume I'm going to have to deal with her considering she's DuF's unicorn and he won't stand up to his mommy about how she treats us. But I'm new at this and not sure how to handle it. He told me earlier "I can't control my mother or how she feels or what she does" and I said "alright, that's fine but I DO have control over LO and where he goes and doesn't go and who gets to be around him. When I see some change on her part, I'll change too". Am I wrong? I'm bothered by the fact that they never even ask about him, but they fawn over the other child. He told me to call FMIL and her sister (his aunt) up and say "hey is it ok if I bring the baby over today for lunch?" First of all I would NEVER invite myself anywhere with them, especially if they can't call me ever for 5 minutes to ask about my child and second of all they can call ME! They are the ones who work and are busy and they know I'm pretty much just here with LO all day every day. I'm so frustrated. Maybe I do need to just blow up at them and get it out of my system or something so it stops causing so much trouble here. And before anyone suggests counseling, he won't do that, he's been in it before when his parents got divorced and considers it a huge waste of time and money. Any advice??
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