We used to live near my parents and when we did they saw my kids all the time. Had them for sleepovers and took them places. Well we no longer live in the same state and now they want our kids for a week at a time a couple of times a year. We let them have our kids after Christmas. We told them 6 days but my mom booked the flights so it ended up being like 11 days instead without telling us. We didn't know until the day before they left that there had been a change. Because of this we no long trust them to keep their word and not keep our kids longer. They want them again in two weeks but we keep telling them no. My mom mostly is so mad. My husband and I don't really care how mad they get, we are the parents and we said no.
Well today I get a phone call from my grandmother saying I am depriving my parents and kids of the memories that we had with them. They used to take us two weekends a month and how could I not want those kinds of memories for my kids. I told her that we couldn't trust them and the answer was no. I didn't get into it much more with her because it really isn't her business.
I know a TO is coming up soon if everyone can't just respect our wishes. Any advice regarding the situation is great but I also wanted to hear from those of you who have had to cut relationships with boundary stompers. I have always been close to my family and if for some reason I had to cut some of them out I know it will be a grieving process and be extremely hard for me. I am already having a hard time with they way they are being now. I wish they would just respect our wishes and we could have a peaceful relationship. What also scares me is the fact that if I have to put my parents on a TO it will result in losing so many relationships including my sisters, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Everyone in my family are unicorns and my husband and I aren't. We have boundaries and they just can't understand why we don't let everyone else dictate our family.
I am sure this sounds crazy because most people would have no problem losing people like this from their lives but it's really devastating for me to think about.