I hope you had a pee break because this is a long one.
Welp...haven't had a problem with FMIL until we began to plan for my wedding.
Before we got engaged, she was extremely nice when we went to her house. She loved me and was so excited that I was marrying her oldest son. I really liked her, she was like my own mother to me. (I just posted yesterday about how to cut out my own mother bc I'm having trouble with my own mother now). I guess I thought I was accepted and bada bing bada boom, I'd marry her son and we'd all live happily ever after. NOT
And because of their very sweet attitude, it was very difficult to grow a backbone...At first.
Here we go, we get engaged. IMMEDIATELY MIL jump on our tails about setting a date (NBD I thought, she just want us to be prepared). So they (MIL and FIL) helped us set a date. Yeah, I'm not liking where this is going either.
FMIL calls me a few months later, "Let's go to a bridal shower and look at all of the cool stuff we could do!" Alright. No harm there, I'll go but I'm inviting my own mom first. Apparently that was a mistake. FMIL was cold and rude the entire time. It was a shock to me so I didn't address it. I came home and told my husband. Immediately, he got on the phone with her and asked why she treated me this way.(He's pretty awesome) She said SHE asked ME to go. And it's not proper ettiquette for ME to invite someone else to go along as well. WTF. It has to do with my wedding and I asked my mother to go. Is this not insane already?? So he put her on a time out and said you will not treat her this way goodbye, don't contact us. She didn't argue she said she understands. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? So far, she still hasn't shown her complete crazy side.
A few months later she contacted us and apologized profusely. She said she just wanted to be involved and wanted to help. She has a 34 year old step daughter who isn't married so she hasn't really been able to have a bond like that. Yeah, whatever.
So what do our dumbasses do? We forgive her. Dun dun dun.
FF a few months. She asked if she could make our flowers arrangements. I tell her that's very thoughtful of her but I would like to get them professionally made. (She has no previous experience doing flower arrangements). She said, "okay." Hung up and called hubby and bitched and moaned. She said something along the lines of "We are splitting the wedding cost in half so I feel as though we (FIL and MIL) should have a say in some things. We do not wish to pay for flowers."
Hubby: "Welp, I'm sorry you feel that way but it is our wedding. We will pay for those. You do not get a say." Phew, thanks husband.
Invites. I do not have a cool printer where it prints on anything and everything. MIL says, "Oh we'll just print the invites on our printer." I agree to this. However, we still have to tie these little bows on them and send them out. I tell her I will do that with my own mom because my mom and I haven't done ANYTHING for the wedding. She says okay. Hangs up and has her husband call my husband. FIL tries to get husband to let MIL help my mom and I put the invites together. He says she feels left out. Are you serious? She has done or tried to do almost everything. The only thing my mom has done so far is pay for half of the place we are having our reception.
Husband again, shuts them down. Not even 15 minutes after that phone call, MIL starts calling my phone over and over again. IDK why my dumb shit ass answered but I did finally. I didn't get a word in, she was screaming at me telling me she's the victim and "How do you think I feel that I got all of those invites printed and you refuse to have me over and help??" I told her, "Umm weren't you annoyed that you thought you had to come into town to help me because I haven't gotten them done yet?" (Because before this she was pissed I didn't have them done and complained that she had to drive all the way to our city to help when I didn't ask her to.) She's bipolar I swear.
She goes, "You're damn right I'm pissed that I would've come into town to help you!" WTF are you arguing with me about then??? She is completely telling me she feels left out and then telling me she'd be pissed she had to come help! She hangs up on me mid sentence. Thank God. Then calls me back a million times. I'm sorry when I'm hung up on, I think that is the rudest thing EVER. I don't answer. She calls my husband. He doesn't answer. She leaves a long text saying she isn't helping us anymore on the wedding and that I'm taking her for granted and that her son is marrying a bitch. I haven't even cussed her out yet at this point, I'm still in shock by the 180 turn she pulled. "I'm doing everything for you guys and I get no respect." Umm you shouldn't be doing everything, that's why you don't have my respect.
Alright, now we start seeing a crazy side of her that we have never seen. My husband said she steps her boundaries but nothing like this. We don't tlak to her until a month before the wedding. She called me complaining she hasn't received an invite. LOL now I've had time to think this over for months so I know exactly how to respond "What do you mean? If you don't receive an invite, it means your not invited." Click.
I'm not sure if that was the best thing I could've done (because it felt gooood) or the worst thing I could've done because we saw her wrath. She called every single mother effin family member to try go against us and not go to our wedding. Aww that's too bad because they all showed up and were very happy for us! She told them that I'm ruining my fiance's life and will end up divorced. Side note: We also did not invite FIL because he kept sticking up for her so we paid for the other half of our wedding. My mom helped us out.
But guess who shows up. Yep. You got that right.
It was thee most awkward thing EVER. They walk into the church like nothing ever happened. Plus, it's awkward bc everyone on their side of the family knew that they weren't invited. Now, I did not want to ruin my wedding day by going and yelling at them and telling them to GTFO. Was I wrong there? I probably was, wasn't I?
But seriously, what bride wants to scream at someone on their wedding day. We did not talk to them. They tried to get in the family pics and all we said was no you will not be in our pictures and surprisingly, they left it at that. They did not walk down the aisle with us.
So the reception comes around. Heh heh heh. The hotel we did our reception at always hires a police officer. Guess who got escorted out of the building? YEP, the IL's. They were flabbergasted! They caused this huge scene yelling at my husband (who was completely embarrassed) I felt really bad because he seemed really down after that. I'm not sure if he felt bad asking them to be escorted out or if he felt bad that they made a scene at the wedding and embarrassed him.
FF to now. They are constantly sending us I'm sorry letters and have tried to friend us on fb. They send their FM to call us and tell us we are ruining their family "why are we doing this to them?" They found out I was pregnant and actually made me feel bad that my son won't grow up with the grandparents and that I'm keeping my husband away from them "poisoning his brain." I had my son two months ago, and I'm started to feel sort of bad. Did they really cause enough drama for me to completely CO? IDK why my perspective has changed but I'm just starting to feel bad about it.
Based on my story and the shit my IL's pulled, was it too much to get them escorted out? Did they deserve it or was I being too harsh? Do they deserve another chance? If I'm wrong for these feelings, just virtually slap me in the face and tell me "NO!" Ask questions if I left something out.
Edited for spelling