BG is Under older screen name. Short version:
I gave bio dad a chance to be I my life as a young adult after he was absent all my childhood. My unicorn was huge and hungry.
It finally hit me a few years in that he is an emotionally manipulative and self centered dick. So I made it clear that I wasn't playing anymore and dropped the rope. We haven't talked in 4 years.
His mother has always been a constant in my life. Cards, calls, quilts and visits. We haven't spoke about my SD once in the last 4 years.
I have 5 week old rainbow girls. Yay me! I sent grandma many pictures. She left a VM yesterday thanking me and telling me she passed two onto SD and how proud he is of me and that I "did good".
I called Gma today and asked her why SD needed pics for her? She replies "we'll he hasn't gotten any from you".
Me: "that's because we haven't spoken in for years. Are you aware of that?"
Gma: "well, yea I know that and it's time you guys got that figured out..."
I tell her that a man who isn't a father doesn't get the privelage of being a grandpa. That he hurt me deeply and it's on him to be a man and convince me he is emotionally safe to be around. That we have things "figured out". He treated me badly and we don't talk as a result.
She pulls put the blood is thicker, life is too short, that I must have hurt him also ect ect. And the cherry "he's their grandpa no matter what. He has two grandsons (my stepsons kids) and two granddaughters.
I am quiet for a moment and ask why my son doesn't count. Just because he is dead? SD doesn't get to ignore me during the tough times and then get all the perks of baing family during the good times. Gma states that her pics our hers to share and that she will be sharing pics with him. Regardless. I tell her if she gives him any further pictures then she won't get any in the future.
Sigh. So Gma might get an 8x10 every few months with "to great grandma with love." She can show them all she wants bit she won't have extra to give him any.
Thank you DWIL for sharing your experiences and updates. It helped me tremendously not to rug sweep or overly JADE to Gma. She knows the score and I've asked her to refrain from putting herself in the middle of two grown adults.
We will see how it goes.
I have squish pics as soon as I can figure out how to post them from my iPad.
I gave bio dad a chance to be I my life as a young adult after he was absent all my childhood. My unicorn was huge and hungry.
It finally hit me a few years in that he is an emotionally manipulative and self centered dick. So I made it clear that I wasn't playing anymore and dropped the rope. We haven't talked in 4 years.
His mother has always been a constant in my life. Cards, calls, quilts and visits. We haven't spoke about my SD once in the last 4 years.
I have 5 week old rainbow girls. Yay me! I sent grandma many pictures. She left a VM yesterday thanking me and telling me she passed two onto SD and how proud he is of me and that I "did good".
I called Gma today and asked her why SD needed pics for her? She replies "we'll he hasn't gotten any from you".
Me: "that's because we haven't spoken in for years. Are you aware of that?"
Gma: "well, yea I know that and it's time you guys got that figured out..."
I tell her that a man who isn't a father doesn't get the privelage of being a grandpa. That he hurt me deeply and it's on him to be a man and convince me he is emotionally safe to be around. That we have things "figured out". He treated me badly and we don't talk as a result.
She pulls put the blood is thicker, life is too short, that I must have hurt him also ect ect. And the cherry "he's their grandpa no matter what. He has two grandsons (my stepsons kids) and two granddaughters.
I am quiet for a moment and ask why my son doesn't count. Just because he is dead? SD doesn't get to ignore me during the tough times and then get all the perks of baing family during the good times. Gma states that her pics our hers to share and that she will be sharing pics with him. Regardless. I tell her if she gives him any further pictures then she won't get any in the future.
Sigh. So Gma might get an 8x10 every few months with "to great grandma with love." She can show them all she wants bit she won't have extra to give him any.
Thank you DWIL for sharing your experiences and updates. It helped me tremendously not to rug sweep or overly JADE to Gma. She knows the score and I've asked her to refrain from putting herself in the middle of two grown adults.
We will see how it goes.
I have squish pics as soon as I can figure out how to post them from my iPad.