I have learned a lot from lurking the DWIL Group. My FOO and ILs are mild compared to a lot of the stuff posted here, but I did need some help strengthening my spine. Said spine was tested today.
BG1: DH and I decided against big wedding. Instead eloped and had civil ceremony in Italy. No family. No chaos. No drama. It was amazing! However, we (along with DH's FOO) are Catholic, so we knew we would need to have the marriage convalidated (blessed) at a later date. This is essentially the full wedding ceremony again, but in a church. We decided that we did not want any guests to attend the convalidation. We don't want anyone to consider it our "church wedding" or "real wedding" as we have already been married for 4 years. To us, it is simply a formality with the church.
BG2: MIL is a very nice lady who is generally non-boundary stomping (mostly because DH shuts her shit down before she has the opportunity to start) but tends to lay the guilt-tripping on rather thick when she doesn't get her way. This doesn't bother DH, as he is incredibly quick witted and able to verbally hip check anyone who crosses him (including his mother.) I, on the other hand, have been a people-pleasing doormat in the past. Not anymore.
Here is the current situation: DS is being baptized next week. DH's entire family is invited. (My FOO is invited also, but they live on the opposite coast, and will not be able to attend.) Since we already have our priest reserved for the day, we decided to do our convalidation earlier in the day, before everyone arrives. Today, I called MIL to finalize some plans for next week.
MIL: I am just so excited for everything! For DS's baptism and your wedding.
Me: Well, you know we're not having anyone at the convalidation.
MIL: What?
Me: We don't want anyone at the convalidation.
MIL: Oh! I'm glad you told me that! I was just going to invite everyone!
Me: Haha ... I'm glad I told you, too! (I know DH has already told her this, but she honestly has a really bad memory.)
MIL: Well, at least I get to be there.
Me: Nope.
MIL: What?
Me: Nope.
MIL: But I didn't get to be at your fiiiiirrrrssst weeeeedding!
Me: Neither did my parents.
MIL: But whyyyyyyy?
Me: Because that's what we decided.
MIL: But I haaaave to be there to hold DS.
Me: Nope.
MIL: Well, I can just hold him and stay out in the lobby.
Me: Nope.
MIL: Well, what are you going to do with him? You can't just put him on the floor!
Me: I'll hold him.
MIL: You're going to hold him while your marriage is being blessed!?
Me: Yep. What's wrong with that?
MIL: I don't know. I just think it's weird.
Me: That's okay. Well, I gotta go. I'll see you next week! Bye!
I got off the phone and had the biggest grin on my face! So, thank you DWIL ladies. Please keep the good advice, snarky comebacks, and llama noms coming!!