Argh! I've about had it with my mother and holidays. Every single holiday or family vacation she is just awful. She's emotional, needy, dramatic, and I'm so sick of it.
Two Christmases ago I decided to go with my DH (bf at the time) to see his family for Christmas Eve and Christmas about two hours away. We told my family we would come for Christmas evening. First of all I see no problem with this, his family is so much more enjoyable to be around and we were still seeing them on Christmas. That same year she had invited us over for thanksgiving then two days before decided to fly hours away to see her birth family. They took my brother but not me. I'm fine they didn't take me but it was really rude to cancel plans like that. So I didn't feel bad about not spending Xmas Eve or Xmas morning with them.
That night she lost it. Completely lost her shit. Crying and screaming bc it wasn't fair she didn't get me for Xmas Eve or Xmas morning. It was bad. This was all pre DWIL so I didn't TO or anything.
FF to now... I let my mom know that we would do Xmas Eve with them and Xmas with DH's family. My family is is just my mom, dad, and brother and we celebrate with aunts uncles and all the weekend before (on DH's birthday). His family is huge and we jump around town all day Xmas to see everyone.
My mom was fine with it until she started emailing me to "plan" Xmas. Not sure what she needs to plan but whatever. Here's the emails so far:
Mom-
Hi!
We talked by text about the time y'all would be with us for Christmas Eve.
Could you confirm for me so I can get it on my calendar and start making preparations?
It's so far back on my texts that I won't b able to find it.
I think you said 12-7?
Mom
Me-
Yes Christmas Eve. I don't know what time. I might have to work earlier in the day. 12-7 sounds like a long time. Let's wait til closer to set a time but I'm thinking closer to about 3 hours or so, we can just play it by ear.
Mom-
Just let me know as soon as you know what time you'll come over so I can plan our family Christmas at our house.
You certainly don't have to commit to a certain amount of time. You did before ...I just forgot what it was.
It would help me as I plan for a special time for our family together if you have an idea that you'll be at the house for two hours or three hours at least.
I appreciate it
I'm trying to plan the food and activities and gift opening and all that good stuff. :-)
*i don't know why we have to have activities. It's never fun as we are forced to play a game or watch a movie we don't want.
Mom-
It's really impt to me to plan a Christmas celebration that is meaningful and fun.
Not an easy thing as all of our family traditions are turned upside down with you and BOO growing up and schedules changing.
BOO is helping me with some game suggestions and another idea he had.
It's hard to lose all of our old traditions and now I understand what nana and Grandmom went through at this same stage of life.
But I am trying to make new traditions and memories for our family to pass on.
I sure would appreciate prayer that the Lord would help us to forge new strong family traditions that would be enduring and honor him.
Traditiins are the glue that holds a family together.
Your Christmas celebrations in DH hometown start first thing Christmas morning.
Me-
I'm confused by your last sentence. Certainly you aren't comparing my extended family of 3 people to DH's of over 30 people we have to see in one day?
The last two Christmases have been very stressful, this year seems to be worked out well. Regardless of what I said before, 7 hours anywhere is exhausting. When people get exhausted they aren't happy. Surely you want Christmas to be happy over having us for a certain amount of time.
I wouldn't worry about it so much, it's months away. Not much planning needed. We can eat, open presents, and spend time together.
Time will not be split evenly between you and DH's town as our families our completely different in size and everything else. Also, DH and I aren't not toys to be "shared" evenly. I think 3-4 hours at your house on Christmas Eve is not really anything to complain about.
----
She just go off of a very short TO that I posted about on here. Friday is her birthday so I was hoping she wouldn't start something before then. She makes the holidays not fun bc it's so damn stressful!
What else should I say/do?
Edit bc spelling
Two Christmases ago I decided to go with my DH (bf at the time) to see his family for Christmas Eve and Christmas about two hours away. We told my family we would come for Christmas evening. First of all I see no problem with this, his family is so much more enjoyable to be around and we were still seeing them on Christmas. That same year she had invited us over for thanksgiving then two days before decided to fly hours away to see her birth family. They took my brother but not me. I'm fine they didn't take me but it was really rude to cancel plans like that. So I didn't feel bad about not spending Xmas Eve or Xmas morning with them.
That night she lost it. Completely lost her shit. Crying and screaming bc it wasn't fair she didn't get me for Xmas Eve or Xmas morning. It was bad. This was all pre DWIL so I didn't TO or anything.
FF to now... I let my mom know that we would do Xmas Eve with them and Xmas with DH's family. My family is is just my mom, dad, and brother and we celebrate with aunts uncles and all the weekend before (on DH's birthday). His family is huge and we jump around town all day Xmas to see everyone.
My mom was fine with it until she started emailing me to "plan" Xmas. Not sure what she needs to plan but whatever. Here's the emails so far:
Mom-
Hi!
We talked by text about the time y'all would be with us for Christmas Eve.
Could you confirm for me so I can get it on my calendar and start making preparations?
It's so far back on my texts that I won't b able to find it.
I think you said 12-7?
Mom
Me-
Yes Christmas Eve. I don't know what time. I might have to work earlier in the day. 12-7 sounds like a long time. Let's wait til closer to set a time but I'm thinking closer to about 3 hours or so, we can just play it by ear.
Mom-
Just let me know as soon as you know what time you'll come over so I can plan our family Christmas at our house.
You certainly don't have to commit to a certain amount of time. You did before ...I just forgot what it was.
It would help me as I plan for a special time for our family together if you have an idea that you'll be at the house for two hours or three hours at least.
I appreciate it
I'm trying to plan the food and activities and gift opening and all that good stuff. :-)
*i don't know why we have to have activities. It's never fun as we are forced to play a game or watch a movie we don't want.
Mom-
It's really impt to me to plan a Christmas celebration that is meaningful and fun.
Not an easy thing as all of our family traditions are turned upside down with you and BOO growing up and schedules changing.
BOO is helping me with some game suggestions and another idea he had.
It's hard to lose all of our old traditions and now I understand what nana and Grandmom went through at this same stage of life.
But I am trying to make new traditions and memories for our family to pass on.
I sure would appreciate prayer that the Lord would help us to forge new strong family traditions that would be enduring and honor him.
Traditiins are the glue that holds a family together.
Your Christmas celebrations in DH hometown start first thing Christmas morning.
Me-
I'm confused by your last sentence. Certainly you aren't comparing my extended family of 3 people to DH's of over 30 people we have to see in one day?
The last two Christmases have been very stressful, this year seems to be worked out well. Regardless of what I said before, 7 hours anywhere is exhausting. When people get exhausted they aren't happy. Surely you want Christmas to be happy over having us for a certain amount of time.
I wouldn't worry about it so much, it's months away. Not much planning needed. We can eat, open presents, and spend time together.
Time will not be split evenly between you and DH's town as our families our completely different in size and everything else. Also, DH and I aren't not toys to be "shared" evenly. I think 3-4 hours at your house on Christmas Eve is not really anything to complain about.
----
She just go off of a very short TO that I posted about on here. Friday is her birthday so I was hoping she wouldn't start something before then. She makes the holidays not fun bc it's so damn stressful!
What else should I say/do?
Edit bc spelling