Ok, so some background: This woman is not my MIL, but she is BD's mom. I have only known her since I was 8 months pregnant (since July this year). My baby was born early October. BD isn't around and haven't talked to him since February or so. I was the one who told BDM (BD mom) that I was pregnant with his kid because he was too much of a wuss to do it himself. And it's not like this is a random guy off the street, I've known him since I was 16 and we share another child that is adopted (open adoption) from when I was 18. But that's another story.
So, I had been letting BDM watch LO a couple times so I could go into work for a couple hours at a time which worked great because she lives right by my work and it's on the way from my house. However, the second time I let her watch LO I had to go into work as a client was coming in for an audit and I had to work a 6-7 hour shift. So I figured, hey why not, she did fine last time. So I drop off LO at BDM house, and while dropping her off BDM makes jokes like "Oh, we're going to paint each other's nails." I just smile like yeah ok, and leave to work. Lo and behold at around 1pm I see on Facebook a picture of my LO with these hideously disgusting messy purple fingernails. Let's just say I flipped a lid. I texted BDM (after taking about a half hour of flipping our to a friend/coworker trying to calm down first) asking her why she did that and that I thought she was joking when she said she was going to paint her nails.I also told her there are toxins in nail polish that leech into the nail beds because infant's nails are very thin. (Also let me just say I tried to be as calm as possible for how raging pissed I was (and still am).) I never got a response to that text. I stay at work for another couple hours, where I didn't get any work done and all I wanted to do was tear my ass back to this bitch's house and rip my baby out of there never to return. I held it together best I could and left at about 2pm, and texted her saying I was on my way. All I got back was a "K." Needless to say I tore over to her house pissed off.
When I got there I come in to see my poor sleeping baby with that disgusting shit looking horrible on her hands. I again tell her I thought she was joking when she said that and once again informed her of the toxins. She shrugged it off as if it meant nothing at all.
Oh, and as I mentioned before I sent her a text advising her I was on my way. When I got there the two little mittens for her hands were on her dirty wood floor (she has two rotts) and her rock n play had a few dog hairs in it. Also the diaper bag was in another room, the colic calm was open on the counter and the dropper was dirty and never rinsed out (the WRONG dropper as well), and the rock n play was still just sitting open on the floor. So I ran around gathering all the shit as fast as possible lest I flip out on her right then and there, saying I have homework to do (all the while only thoughts are I need to GTFO of here NOW) and put my LO in her carseat and lug everything out to the car. Am I wrong for thinking this shit should have been put together by the time I got there? Anyways, I drive straight to my mom's house from there and finally flip out almost crying (with rage) and my mom was furious.
She told me to call the nurse line, which I did (they were also like WTF? who DOES that!?) and then they had to transfer me to poison control. Poison control had same reaction but gave me the go ahead for nail polish remover. Even with my mom's help it took about 20 minutes to get it off my now crying baby's hands, as I had to rinse as soon as using it then put a glove over it in case she stuck her hands in her mouth. Let's just say at this point I just keep repeating "THAT BITCH IS NEVER EVER EVER EVER WATCHING HER EVER AGAIN!" I just couldn't get over the fact that my newborn baby had been treated like a fucking doll! I'm still very much pissed off about this entire situation.
Fast forward to the next day (last Saturday) there was a baby shower that her and all her church friends (none of whom I know, I also do not go to church nor believe in God, both of which BDM knows) and I only went because apparently a bunch of people were expecting to meet me etc. While at the baby shower I give LO to my mom to hold because she woke up in her car seat (while giving her "the stare" and telling her to not pass her around) and lo and behold BDM magically appears and immediately asks to hold LO. My mom looks at me and gives me the "can she?" look. Let me just say that I was opening presents at this time and everyone (about 30 fucking people I didn't know) were watching me. SO I just give a defeated "I guess" and continue opening presents as quickly as possible while following BDM every move. Soon enough I hear my LO start crying and what does BDM do? Nothing. She continues holding her on her lap and showing her to her friends as if she is, once again, a little doll. THANK GOD my friend was standing near them, she gives me a look like "should I get her?" and I'm like god yes please. So she takes her and brings her to me, LO quiets down and I pass her back off to my mom and who pops up yet a-fucking-gain! My mom (awesomely) informs BDM that LO is better there because she can see me. BDM retreats and talks to her friends while I breathe a sigh of relief inside. LO obviously preferred my friend (who is amazing with babies) or my mom to BDM.
Anyways, sorry so long, but it feels better getting this out. I really am here because I need some advice. Ever since the baby shower I have not spoken to BDM until today and she is trying once again to try to get me (and LO of course) to a church function. I'm sick of making excuses to not go because I don't believe in god and she apparently can't get that through her thick skull, and not only that but I know she will want to hold LO and pass her around like a fucking toy AGAIN. I'm done with this shit and just wish I never told BDM that I was pregnant! UGH! Anyways, any thoughts? Again, so sorry it's so long but once I started typing it kinda just took off.
*Edit for spelling