Let me start this off by saying I am new here. I was referred here by a friend who is a regular lurker on here and said you guys give great advice. I created my account yesterday but I decided to lurk before posting. I also read the sticky so I know what to expect.
*Just a warning this will be long*
MIL has 6 kids (including DH) They are 22(DH), 18, 14, 10, 8 & 6. In January 2012 the 18 yr old got in some big trouble and ended up going to juvie. After this incident FIL decided that MIL wasn't taking care of the kids properly and decided he wanted them to come live with him (FIL & MIL have been divorced since 2004 but for some odd reason they kept having kids together.) MIL agreed because it was obvious that she was having a hard time taking care of them by herself, so in April 2012 she sent them to live with FIL overseas. We found out we were pregnant with our first a month later, and we decided to let MIL experience this with us. We figured that since she had been so depressed ever since the kids keft that it would lighten her spirits to know that she had a grandchild on the way. I have never experienced MILs crazy prior to my DD being born. She is very good at disguising herself as a normal human being. In the beginning of my pregnancy everything was fine. No boundry stomps, no BSC, nothing. It wasn't until we found out we were having a girl that MIL decided to show her true colors. Now, I want to stop here to add that I think MIL has some weird obsession with girls. She only has one boy (which is my DH) and he always tells me how growing up his younger sisters always got better treatment. But anyway, once we found out we were having a girl she started texting and calling me 24/7. She would text me after every doc appt and ask how it went, she always wanted to see ultrasounds, etc. She would also show up unannounced with boxes of baby clothes from her youngest (which we didnt need I might add.) I had enough when she tried to text me a link to a list of foods to eat and not to eat during pregnancy and another link to why its important to take prenatals. I am a very blunt person and tend not to care whether my words offend anyone, so as to avoid "saying something I might regret later on" I decided to ignore all her texts and calls. I urged DH to do the same but you all know how the unicorn goes. When I was 8 months pregnant I fell down a flight of stairs which resulted in my DD having to be born the next day through emergency c-section. This was devastating to me because I had planned to do a natural birth. Because of this I asked for no visitors as the situation was already stressful enough, I didnt want a bunch of people in my face asking me how I'm feeling. MIL didnt follow directions and showed up anyway. I told her she will not be seeing DD and I dont know why she even showed up. She went ballistic which ended in my DH bum rushing her out of the room and ripping her a new one. We put her on what you guys call a TO and didn't talk to her again until DD was almost 2 months old. It was then that I decided to give her one more chance, because she called DH crying and asking if she could speak to me so she could apologize. I agreed to let her drop by and see DD. Well that night was not a good one for DD, she was extra fussy and would only sleep 30 minutes at a time. Somehow inbetween her 30 minute sleep stretches I fell asleep. When I woke up I realized I had slept 1.5 hours straight without being interrupted by DD so I decided to go check on her. I walked into her nursery and MIL was standing there, holding her!!! I flipped shit. I flipped shit so hard that DH came running in with his hand gun, he thought we had an intruder. Apparently, MIL got ahold of our spare key and let herself in! I escorted her to the door and let her know that if she pulled some shit like this again I wouldn't be so nice next time. We put her on TO again and this time didnt talk to her again until this past Christmas. Now for the problem at hand. DD's 2nd birthday was about a week ago. We threw a party for her at Chuck E. Cheese (for those of you who may not know what that is, its basically a casino for kids.) A couple days later, DH got a call from AIL (MIL sister) Apparently MIL took the pics she took with DD at her birthday party and posted them on Facebook claiming that DD was her daughter! I didn't believe it until I saw them for myself and I am livid. DH called her and ripped her apart, and she deleted the pictures and the posts but I still informed her that she is officially CO from me and DD and she has no way of regaining my trust. What made it even worse is she even told FIL that DD was her daughter! I haven't talked to her since then but she keeps on sending me emails. I usually just read them and laugh at how pathetic she sounds but this one in particular hit a soft spot on DH. And now MIL has FIL thinking she's the victim here (I dont see how though she obviously STOLE our daughters pictures) FIL wants us to draft out one last email to MIL explaining why we are offended and why we no longer want to keep in touch. DH wants to do it so he can have closure but I dont think its a good idea. I think it will open the window for talking it out and rugsweeping and I refuse to tolerate, let alone forget about all the BS she's pulled since my DD was born. What do you guys think? Should we make a CO letter, and if so what should it say? Also if need be, I can post the email that hit a soft spot on DH. TIA!
*Just a warning this will be long*
MIL has 6 kids (including DH) They are 22(DH), 18, 14, 10, 8 & 6. In January 2012 the 18 yr old got in some big trouble and ended up going to juvie. After this incident FIL decided that MIL wasn't taking care of the kids properly and decided he wanted them to come live with him (FIL & MIL have been divorced since 2004 but for some odd reason they kept having kids together.) MIL agreed because it was obvious that she was having a hard time taking care of them by herself, so in April 2012 she sent them to live with FIL overseas. We found out we were pregnant with our first a month later, and we decided to let MIL experience this with us. We figured that since she had been so depressed ever since the kids keft that it would lighten her spirits to know that she had a grandchild on the way. I have never experienced MILs crazy prior to my DD being born. She is very good at disguising herself as a normal human being. In the beginning of my pregnancy everything was fine. No boundry stomps, no BSC, nothing. It wasn't until we found out we were having a girl that MIL decided to show her true colors. Now, I want to stop here to add that I think MIL has some weird obsession with girls. She only has one boy (which is my DH) and he always tells me how growing up his younger sisters always got better treatment. But anyway, once we found out we were having a girl she started texting and calling me 24/7. She would text me after every doc appt and ask how it went, she always wanted to see ultrasounds, etc. She would also show up unannounced with boxes of baby clothes from her youngest (which we didnt need I might add.) I had enough when she tried to text me a link to a list of foods to eat and not to eat during pregnancy and another link to why its important to take prenatals. I am a very blunt person and tend not to care whether my words offend anyone, so as to avoid "saying something I might regret later on" I decided to ignore all her texts and calls. I urged DH to do the same but you all know how the unicorn goes. When I was 8 months pregnant I fell down a flight of stairs which resulted in my DD having to be born the next day through emergency c-section. This was devastating to me because I had planned to do a natural birth. Because of this I asked for no visitors as the situation was already stressful enough, I didnt want a bunch of people in my face asking me how I'm feeling. MIL didnt follow directions and showed up anyway. I told her she will not be seeing DD and I dont know why she even showed up. She went ballistic which ended in my DH bum rushing her out of the room and ripping her a new one. We put her on what you guys call a TO and didn't talk to her again until DD was almost 2 months old. It was then that I decided to give her one more chance, because she called DH crying and asking if she could speak to me so she could apologize. I agreed to let her drop by and see DD. Well that night was not a good one for DD, she was extra fussy and would only sleep 30 minutes at a time. Somehow inbetween her 30 minute sleep stretches I fell asleep. When I woke up I realized I had slept 1.5 hours straight without being interrupted by DD so I decided to go check on her. I walked into her nursery and MIL was standing there, holding her!!! I flipped shit. I flipped shit so hard that DH came running in with his hand gun, he thought we had an intruder. Apparently, MIL got ahold of our spare key and let herself in! I escorted her to the door and let her know that if she pulled some shit like this again I wouldn't be so nice next time. We put her on TO again and this time didnt talk to her again until this past Christmas. Now for the problem at hand. DD's 2nd birthday was about a week ago. We threw a party for her at Chuck E. Cheese (for those of you who may not know what that is, its basically a casino for kids.) A couple days later, DH got a call from AIL (MIL sister) Apparently MIL took the pics she took with DD at her birthday party and posted them on Facebook claiming that DD was her daughter! I didn't believe it until I saw them for myself and I am livid. DH called her and ripped her apart, and she deleted the pictures and the posts but I still informed her that she is officially CO from me and DD and she has no way of regaining my trust. What made it even worse is she even told FIL that DD was her daughter! I haven't talked to her since then but she keeps on sending me emails. I usually just read them and laugh at how pathetic she sounds but this one in particular hit a soft spot on DH. And now MIL has FIL thinking she's the victim here (I dont see how though she obviously STOLE our daughters pictures) FIL wants us to draft out one last email to MIL explaining why we are offended and why we no longer want to keep in touch. DH wants to do it so he can have closure but I dont think its a good idea. I think it will open the window for talking it out and rugsweeping and I refuse to tolerate, let alone forget about all the BS she's pulled since my DD was born. What do you guys think? Should we make a CO letter, and if so what should it say? Also if need be, I can post the email that hit a soft spot on DH. TIA!