I've read and was able to successfully follow advice. I am seeking some now, please.
My MIL has raised her own children, including my husband, of both genders. She also helped to raise her other (now grown) Grandchildren. When it comes to my young baby, she acts as though she's never seen an infant. Quick examples include- She was changing my daughter and I noticed that she didn't wipe her before reapplying another diaper. When I handed her wipes thinking that maybe she forgot (trying for the benefit of the doubt here), she coyly looked at me and said "oh, you wipe her every time?". She then was refeeding her OLD, premade bottles that were already previously used and on the sink for me to discard. When I confronted her about it, she stated that I told her to use those bottles. That is clearly not true. She told my husband that she never did that at all. I wondered why she (my daughter) was ill everytime she was alone with my MIL...She also told my husband that she didn't know to wipe her because they used cloth diapers "back then".
A small history... My (over 40) SIL who chose poor self-centered relationships vs marriage material is very jealous of our family. This is so much so that she was not asked to be Godmother. She stated that if she wasn't going to be Godmother then she was not attending her niece's baptism. She held true to her word and did not attend. My MIL took her daughter's "rejection" horribly and has just tried to look for reasons why I am a horrible mother ever since.
So, my question here is does any of this present with malice? I find it difficult to believe that a woman, a mother doesn't "know better". I believe that she wants my daughter to present with either diaper rash, infection or stomach illness to my husband and then to the pediatrician to make me out to be substandard. I just have no other explaination. There are many, many other things that supports toxic behavior but I just need some input on this. My husband says that he "talked to her" about it. Keep in mind that this was not the first time about the food. I am a very active parent, a full-time caregiver. I work around my child. She is only ill after she is with my MIL alone. I understand that these are strong accusations, this is why I want advice before I proceed with making her doctor aware of my concerns. Also, do I allow my MIL more alone time at the risk of my child becoming ill again, do I "give her another chance" after clear instructions were given (again, sigh).
Please leave any advice or thoughts.
Thanks!