Here is a link to a previous post that I had made re: my inlaws. It is pretty irrelevant, but just thought I would link anyways.
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a37413967/business_trip_-_dh_wants_mil_to_come_stay
Anyways - my concern right now is with regards to my FOO, particularly my brother.
BG:DB is younger than me but was married and had kids before I did. Him and SIL and their 2 kids have pretty much lived with my parents for their entire marriage. I've been living out on my own pretty much the entire time so it's really not any of my business (and I've stayed out of all the drama surrounding this). DB and I have always been pretty close and got along well. SIL is very very different from me. So although we're not close, we've always had a decent relationship (in fact she asked me to be in the delivery room with her when she had DNe - I did not ask her and was so surprised when she did ask me, ad yes I was in the delivery room).
When DH and I got married everyone in my FOO (Dad, DB, SIL) were absolutely against it - not because they didn't like DH but because he wasn't the same religion. DH and I ended up eloping, no one from my family was there and I didn't talk to my FOO for about 18 months. My mom and I kept in contact and she really wanted to do whatever she could to reestablish the relationship. Anyways, to make a long story short we started having limited contact again. We went very slow and I tried to go with DH's comfort level, but we're at a point now over this past year where we see each other 1-2 times a month and it's pleasant. But truthfully I don't think my relationship with my DB and SIL will ever go back to what it was before.
The rest of the extended familly that I am close to on my FOO's side is primarily my dad's side. In the 18 months that I didn't talk to my DB, SIL and dad I also didn't talk to most of my aunts and uncles but I did talk to my cousins who were very supportive. Once my dad came around so did the rest of my aunts and uncles. I can't say my aunts and uncles were against my marriage, but my FOO is patriarchal and his brothers and sisters for the most part do whatever my dad tells them to (it's crazy I know - but that's how they were raised and for the most part this isn't something that really comes up as an issue). All my aunts and uncles were so relieved to see my dad and I patch up they were so welcoming to my DH and DS (DH really does like them) except one of my dad's brother's. Him and my aunt contiue to harbour a grudge against me and DH. I've tried to stop caring but it still hurts sometimes since we were so close for so many years (my uncle lived with us for a long time when we were growing up). However, I feel like they are the ones missing out on getting to know DH and DS.
Now to my actual issue. My dad and his brother now have a rift between them over me. There is a religious holiday coming up and my uncle has invited over everyone in the family to their house except me and DH and our DS. My parents have declined the invitation so they can spend the holiday with me. My DB however is going to my uncle's house. I already know what most of you are going to say - my uncle can invite whoever they want or don't want to their place, and my DB is free to go whereever he wants - and I absolutely believe that. But part of me feels like my DB is betraying me a little by going over there to celebrate a holiday with someone who won't even recognize my DH or DS as existing.
Do I have a right to feel this way? Should I limit my contact with DB? Am I an overly entitled sister? Advice please...
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please feel free to ask questions...not hair flipping, will be travellig shortly and won't be online until later tonight.