Short BG- I am not the hugest fan of my DH's side of the family, but have established boundaries and they work for me. Thanks to you ladies I had no visitors for a week PP, baby wear when around them, keep a distance, and it has made my first 10 months with LO almost stomp free. MIL is a stomper, FIL is passive aggressive/alcoholic (I" never see my grandchild, but I never initiate get togethers and often drunk dial my adult child to whine about it"), we rarely see him. SIL and BIL are still getting their hot mess lives together. GMIL is nuts - yelled at DH a few months ago because "you don't let mil hold LO enough, you're taking away the greatest joy of being a gm" I say EFF THAT and go about my business. DH told her he doesn't know what she is talking about. Wish he would have said we didn't have child to make u feel good, but he doesn't have DWIL.
FFwd to this past weekend. We moved into a place that's perfect for LO. BIL is a hot mess and although he just bought a house here on the east coast, has now decided to live west coast because he and his fiancé decided to fast track their wedding and have a rocky relationship that can't survive a distance. Long story. But he is trying to rent out his place. It's not conducive to raising kids and was never on our radar, but when he found out we were moving he began hounding DH about it. Wanted us to break our lease ("just pay the penalty") tried to blame me ("doesn't your wife like my house?) and was non stop texting my DH trying to get him to rent it. Finally DH said let it go, we got a place we like. He flips out. Says to DH that he doesn't like the people we have become, and especially the way I "take the baby upstairs whenever MIL is around and the bad things I say about MIL" he says we both need to look in the mirror and good luck to us bc we are such bad people.
So I am not surprised his family is talking shit. But- BIL has never been around LO at the same time as MIL. I take LO upstairs to feed him. Period. And as for talking bad about her, the only thing I ever sad about MIL to BIL(side note BIL is DH 1/2 brother, different moms, so I don't understand his need to defend her honor) is that I wouldn't let her babysit LO, and made a joke "look how DH turned out" which was 1/2 a joke, but MIL really didn't do a stellar job - that's well known in the family. And this was said over 6 months ago, when he asked me if I was going to leave the baby with MIL for a long distance family wedding so I could "drink and have fun." I said I wouldn't have fun if I left LO with anyone, plus look how DH turned out.. Haha funny joke. If he had a problem he should have addressed it then.
Anyways... I just want to know- obviously BIL is CO- but do I send an email/text saying when I take my child upstairs it is to feed him, so go fuck yourself? Or just ignore and let him judge all he wants? I owe him no explanation, I know that. It pisses me off because I know IL's are talking bad about me and it makes me want to CO all of them. Theres no other way he would know i have taken LO up to eat on a few pccasions when MIL was around. Ugh. Also, LO's first bday is coming up in sept and I know BIL won't be on the list but I don't know who else was talking bad about me and id prefer if they weren't invited either. I don't need my parenting/breast feeding relationship questioned or judged. Clearly GMIL, MIL, or SIL told BIL that I keep LO from them bc he has only seen LO 3 times, never with anyone else around.
Sorry for any typos I'm laying in bed with my sleepy little boy. Ask any questions if I left anything out. How would you handle this? DH BH'd the message.
FFwd to this past weekend. We moved into a place that's perfect for LO. BIL is a hot mess and although he just bought a house here on the east coast, has now decided to live west coast because he and his fiancé decided to fast track their wedding and have a rocky relationship that can't survive a distance. Long story. But he is trying to rent out his place. It's not conducive to raising kids and was never on our radar, but when he found out we were moving he began hounding DH about it. Wanted us to break our lease ("just pay the penalty") tried to blame me ("doesn't your wife like my house?) and was non stop texting my DH trying to get him to rent it. Finally DH said let it go, we got a place we like. He flips out. Says to DH that he doesn't like the people we have become, and especially the way I "take the baby upstairs whenever MIL is around and the bad things I say about MIL" he says we both need to look in the mirror and good luck to us bc we are such bad people.
So I am not surprised his family is talking shit. But- BIL has never been around LO at the same time as MIL. I take LO upstairs to feed him. Period. And as for talking bad about her, the only thing I ever sad about MIL to BIL(side note BIL is DH 1/2 brother, different moms, so I don't understand his need to defend her honor) is that I wouldn't let her babysit LO, and made a joke "look how DH turned out" which was 1/2 a joke, but MIL really didn't do a stellar job - that's well known in the family. And this was said over 6 months ago, when he asked me if I was going to leave the baby with MIL for a long distance family wedding so I could "drink and have fun." I said I wouldn't have fun if I left LO with anyone, plus look how DH turned out.. Haha funny joke. If he had a problem he should have addressed it then.
Anyways... I just want to know- obviously BIL is CO- but do I send an email/text saying when I take my child upstairs it is to feed him, so go fuck yourself? Or just ignore and let him judge all he wants? I owe him no explanation, I know that. It pisses me off because I know IL's are talking bad about me and it makes me want to CO all of them. Theres no other way he would know i have taken LO up to eat on a few pccasions when MIL was around. Ugh. Also, LO's first bday is coming up in sept and I know BIL won't be on the list but I don't know who else was talking bad about me and id prefer if they weren't invited either. I don't need my parenting/breast feeding relationship questioned or judged. Clearly GMIL, MIL, or SIL told BIL that I keep LO from them bc he has only seen LO 3 times, never with anyone else around.
Sorry for any typos I'm laying in bed with my sleepy little boy. Ask any questions if I left anything out. How would you handle this? DH BH'd the message.