I have a tough relationship with my IL's. My DH is their older golden child and my MIL is a lonely (albeit married), nasty, competitive (DH's words) and intrusive woman. My BIL is the hopeless child in the mix. MIL tries to send us lots of reasons he's not (e.g. he just bought a house....yeh, but my DH had to put up surety for it). Incidentally, I have CO my adopted FOO because they have been toxic and continued to lie and manipulate me until I was 34. The issue I've been thinking about is my imminent EDD with DS. With my DD, the IL's invited themselves to the hospital (they ended up not coming because they thought we would pay for them to fly to us and we didn't offer), so they drove at Xmas time instead...again, uninvited (and they left 2 days before Xmas after cracking the shits because we weren't spending enough time with them....despite them not giving us dates until the last minute and my DH having to work).
Anyway, when my DD was born, my DH notified his family. His brother (39) and GF wanted to come and visit the baby. I was hesitant at first because it's always awkward with him however my unicorn said to my DH "why don't you see if they can come for our DD's first bath'. My unicorn was trying to show my DH that I was "trying" despite his family being ass-wipes to me and also that I was making an effort in this instance. So, they turn up (they did bring a diaper cake despite being the only people who turned up at our shower with no present...we didn't need anything, but still...) and then they 'film' our DD's first bath. I thought they might be doing it for our benefit, however the next thing I know, my DH gets an email from my MIL saying how 'her grandbaby was so cute being bathed by him'. WTF? When I asked DH how they knew this, it turns out that BIL filmed the bath and then organised a skype session with the IL's (didn't invite us) to watch the video.
I felt really violated by this however DH (DuH) didn't seem to mind. His parents, his brother, his daughter.
I don't want a repeat of this. Am I being a BEC because I hate his family so much? Thanks