I originally posted this on the marriage and relationships board. I added some things if you're a member there too.
Long story short, I complained to my DH (first mistake) that his mom and dad spend no time with the kids. This is because DH would complain that when we did see his parents, my kids wouldn't talk to them. I explained the kids didn't really know them. Soo, now my ILs are more involved. Good. We still only see them once every few weeks.
My parents have always been involved with our kids.They babysit occassionally...my kids are comfortable with them. My DH wants his parents to be in that same role. He makes plans with his parents to take our kids places, without including me. I don't mind the kids going somewhere with their grandparents, but I deserve to be a part of the decision. Last night DH says, "oh by the way, my parents are taking the kids to the fair". I finally got the time confirmed and told the nanny to just give them a light snack (pick up was supposed to be 5). I just found out they were picked up at 6. I'm not worried about our 8 yo...but I have a 4 yo and a 2 yo. They have schedules and bedtime. I can guarantee they won't be home before 9.
I know I need tell my ILs that they need to follow our rules for picking up the kids and what not....but DH and I need to on the same page.
The responses I got on marriage and relationships were basically that I should be happy the kids grandparents are spending time with them (I am...), that we should be packing up all the kids and going to see them because they are 70 years old (they work full time!), and that I'm uptight. I don't agree with any of those things, but am I honestly being unreasonable here? I'm not asking them to follow a list of rules. 1) I want DH to ask me if its alright for his parents to take the kids somewhere. I most likely won't say no anyway. 2) I want his parents to do what they say they will as far as picking them up. Seems easy to me.
Long story short, I complained to my DH (first mistake) that his mom and dad spend no time with the kids. This is because DH would complain that when we did see his parents, my kids wouldn't talk to them. I explained the kids didn't really know them. Soo, now my ILs are more involved. Good. We still only see them once every few weeks.
My parents have always been involved with our kids.They babysit occassionally...my kids are comfortable with them. My DH wants his parents to be in that same role. He makes plans with his parents to take our kids places, without including me. I don't mind the kids going somewhere with their grandparents, but I deserve to be a part of the decision. Last night DH says, "oh by the way, my parents are taking the kids to the fair". I finally got the time confirmed and told the nanny to just give them a light snack (pick up was supposed to be 5). I just found out they were picked up at 6. I'm not worried about our 8 yo...but I have a 4 yo and a 2 yo. They have schedules and bedtime. I can guarantee they won't be home before 9.
I know I need tell my ILs that they need to follow our rules for picking up the kids and what not....but DH and I need to on the same page.
The responses I got on marriage and relationships were basically that I should be happy the kids grandparents are spending time with them (I am...), that we should be packing up all the kids and going to see them because they are 70 years old (they work full time!), and that I'm uptight. I don't agree with any of those things, but am I honestly being unreasonable here? I'm not asking them to follow a list of rules. 1) I want DH to ask me if its alright for his parents to take the kids somewhere. I most likely won't say no anyway. 2) I want his parents to do what they say they will as far as picking them up. Seems easy to me.