My mother and I have a strained non-existent relationship but I do call on occasion for things like birthdays and mother's day. In the past she has told me in no uncertain terms that she hates it when she gets news of me by way of my grandfather (her FIL) who I speak to very often, and she has an extreme hated of unannounced visits.
So this evening I called (ok well I've actually been trying to get her for 3 days but this was the first time she answered) I started off by asking if we could stop by for a few hours over Labor day weekend to visit, of course her response was along the lines of (and exactly what I expected) "Why the hell do you want to visit me? You don't talk to me." Of course she ignores the fact that for 5 and 1/2 years the only contact we've had was when I call her. SO I decided to go for it and said "Because we're expecting and you taught me that that is something you share in person." Her response was something like "oh." and then the only thing she said was to ask if I'm off all my medications (have severe migraines probably becasue of her) and if I'd like to tell my dad. His response was "I thought you two had decided not to have kids." WTF dad? I don't discuss my sex life with you and I was in grad school and unemployed for the first three years we were married and we've been trying (and having miscarriages) since then.
About 45 minutes later my phone rings and its her highness wanting to know why it seemed like I did not get the response I wanted out of her and if I would please just tell her what response I wanted from her so she could give the appropriate response. WTF mom, what response did you want when you told your mother, oh wait she was so overbearing I'm sure she was there when I was conceived!
UGH! nearly 7 years of this P/A crap from her and I'm sick of it, I wish I didn't want a relationship with my (usually non-P/A) father because then I wouldn't feel like I HAVE to work on my relationship with her.
And of course I said mom we're waiting to tell anyone besides parents until 12 weeks but now I feel like I should call my brothers and tell them so that I get to.
OK thanks for listening. I'm taking the bgp off to go to bed but will put them back on before reading any responses.
ETA: I should say that my dad does call me he just refuses to see me without her ok-ing it first (which never happens) and we have had a pretty consistent relationship and level of contact throughout the nightmare that has been my mom's reaction to DH and getting married.