Bg: in October 2012 my husband and I had a very planned, very loved baby. We were told we were expecting a girl (and had planned accordingly) and had a little boy! Needless to say we were a bit shocked but so happy we had a very healthy baby.
Throughout my pregnancy my sister bugged me about her being able to book plane tickets here. My parents and ILs I made sure scheduled their visits separately though I now wish I had pushed back the IL visit as they came into town 11 days after my son was born. As soon as my family found out I was in labor my sister booked plane tickets here to be here the day after my son was born, leaving about four days later. Major FAIL on my part for not shutting her down and telling her that I would let her know when she could come visit. She wasn't overly intrusive but her being here was enough to make me feel as though a very private time in my life was being intruded upon. Not to mention the fact that we were reeling from having the opposite sex, were having to come up with a name for our little guy and think about getting him clothes! There was one instance that I felt was absolutely intrusive, as she attended our first pediatrician appointments and went back to see the doctor with us.
The whole time I was in labor my parents and sister blew up my phone as well as my husband's phone. It got to the point I had him either shut them off or turn them on silent. I pushed for almost five hours since the hospital had me push well before I was ready and I couldn't feel wtf was going on down there thanks to an epidural.
After reading the delivery room drama threads, various post baby complaints and thinking about my previous birth experience I decided before I even got pregnant that I was going to be firm and clear on when visits would be allowed. I struggled a lot adjusting to life with a newborn and breast feeding. I was given awful advice on nursing and was lucky to be able to continue. I realize that my family's (and my ILs behavior-which is a different story all it's own) was completely inappropriate now and am working in my spine. I've always been the doormat, I've dealt with aggressive and passive aggressive behavior my whole life and thought it was normal for a very long time.
My mom has already started in on the "well I need to know if you need me there when the baby is born. I'll come to watch DS and help out." My mom has progressive MS, she cannot keep up with any child and her version of help is sitting on the couch with the baby giving orders and hogging the television. I was discussing what my conversation was with my mom via text message to my sister. I didn't completely shut my mom down, just told her we have it handled. My sisters last message to me was very passive aggressive and I need to shut that shit down in the future but just didn't know how to respond in the moment. Oh wise DWIL ladies, please help??
If you have made it this far, thank you! Also if you need more background I'm happy to give it.
Throughout my pregnancy my sister bugged me about her being able to book plane tickets here. My parents and ILs I made sure scheduled their visits separately though I now wish I had pushed back the IL visit as they came into town 11 days after my son was born. As soon as my family found out I was in labor my sister booked plane tickets here to be here the day after my son was born, leaving about four days later. Major FAIL on my part for not shutting her down and telling her that I would let her know when she could come visit. She wasn't overly intrusive but her being here was enough to make me feel as though a very private time in my life was being intruded upon. Not to mention the fact that we were reeling from having the opposite sex, were having to come up with a name for our little guy and think about getting him clothes! There was one instance that I felt was absolutely intrusive, as she attended our first pediatrician appointments and went back to see the doctor with us.
The whole time I was in labor my parents and sister blew up my phone as well as my husband's phone. It got to the point I had him either shut them off or turn them on silent. I pushed for almost five hours since the hospital had me push well before I was ready and I couldn't feel wtf was going on down there thanks to an epidural.
After reading the delivery room drama threads, various post baby complaints and thinking about my previous birth experience I decided before I even got pregnant that I was going to be firm and clear on when visits would be allowed. I struggled a lot adjusting to life with a newborn and breast feeding. I was given awful advice on nursing and was lucky to be able to continue. I realize that my family's (and my ILs behavior-which is a different story all it's own) was completely inappropriate now and am working in my spine. I've always been the doormat, I've dealt with aggressive and passive aggressive behavior my whole life and thought it was normal for a very long time.
My mom has already started in on the "well I need to know if you need me there when the baby is born. I'll come to watch DS and help out." My mom has progressive MS, she cannot keep up with any child and her version of help is sitting on the couch with the baby giving orders and hogging the television. I was discussing what my conversation was with my mom via text message to my sister. I didn't completely shut my mom down, just told her we have it handled. My sisters last message to me was very passive aggressive and I need to shut that shit down in the future but just didn't know how to respond in the moment. Oh wise DWIL ladies, please help??
If you have made it this far, thank you! Also if you need more background I'm happy to give it.
