This whole thing is full of triggers (not graphic, but very unpleasant). I have old BG here under an even older username. PAN for it if you'd like it, it isn't necessary to understand this post but will help. I'll give a few informational bullet points first. Sorry if this is mixed up. Baby with pneumonia + this = clusterfuck.
-entire maternal FOO sans 4 people are CO - with that being said I know none of my extended m-family (minus aunts and cousins)
-maternal grandparents raised me (by raised I mean beat, molested, rapped and tortured me), bio parents are dead
On to the issue at hand.
I received a message on Facebook from someone I do not recognize or know at all claiming to be my CO grandfathers niece. In the message (which I'm not comfortable c&p'ing), she states a few things.
-my cogf molested her when she was a child and 'the family' covered up for him
-my cogf is the father of my deceased "great aunt", who was birthed by my great grandmother, cogf's mother
-my cogf is also the father of a baby the niece (referred to as N from here on out) put up for adoption at 13 in the late 50's
I haven't responded yet. It took me hours to read through the whole thing. There was small talk, she complimented my child and husband (cover photo is of ODS and DH), said I look like my bio mom (I don't lol), yadda yadda. But the meat of the message is what's above ^^. You guys, this woman is telling me she went through what I did... And there is no way she could know what I went through unless she contacted my CO paternal FOO and considering what they did to her, I don't think she did. She says she wanted to reach out to tell me that he's a monster and not a safe person. She doesn't know I CO those people.. That wretched shell of a man.
I feel torn, sick to my stomach and guilty.
Is she baiting me? Did she really live through the hell I did? Am I horrible for even questioning that? I survived molestation, rape, still birth and abuse. She survived most of that. Am I jaded for being skeptical? She doesn't know my story. There's no way she could. Her fb is legit. She's not a fake.
Our stories are so similar. Her baby lived, mine passed away but we both have scars on our hearts where their footprints ought to be. I cried while I read the message because if she's for real, I'm not alone... And I don't know that it's a good thing.
I CO that man and every piece of him I could. Will responding open Pandora's box? That message was an open closet door, dumping skeletons all over me. DH says he isn't touching this with a ten foot pole and I can't get in to see my therapist for another week. Help.
-entire maternal FOO sans 4 people are CO - with that being said I know none of my extended m-family (minus aunts and cousins)
-maternal grandparents raised me (by raised I mean beat, molested, rapped and tortured me), bio parents are dead
On to the issue at hand.
I received a message on Facebook from someone I do not recognize or know at all claiming to be my CO grandfathers niece. In the message (which I'm not comfortable c&p'ing), she states a few things.
-my cogf molested her when she was a child and 'the family' covered up for him
-my cogf is the father of my deceased "great aunt", who was birthed by my great grandmother, cogf's mother
-my cogf is also the father of a baby the niece (referred to as N from here on out) put up for adoption at 13 in the late 50's
I haven't responded yet. It took me hours to read through the whole thing. There was small talk, she complimented my child and husband (cover photo is of ODS and DH), said I look like my bio mom (I don't lol), yadda yadda. But the meat of the message is what's above ^^. You guys, this woman is telling me she went through what I did... And there is no way she could know what I went through unless she contacted my CO paternal FOO and considering what they did to her, I don't think she did. She says she wanted to reach out to tell me that he's a monster and not a safe person. She doesn't know I CO those people.. That wretched shell of a man.
I feel torn, sick to my stomach and guilty.
Is she baiting me? Did she really live through the hell I did? Am I horrible for even questioning that? I survived molestation, rape, still birth and abuse. She survived most of that. Am I jaded for being skeptical? She doesn't know my story. There's no way she could. Her fb is legit. She's not a fake.
Our stories are so similar. Her baby lived, mine passed away but we both have scars on our hearts where their footprints ought to be. I cried while I read the message because if she's for real, I'm not alone... And I don't know that it's a good thing.
I CO that man and every piece of him I could. Will responding open Pandora's box? That message was an open closet door, dumping skeletons all over me. DH says he isn't touching this with a ten foot pole and I can't get in to see my therapist for another week. Help.