So I am 7 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby, had a miscarriage in November. DH is an only child and MIL is very overbearing and controlling, DH's dad is not in the picture at all. I have one sister and my mom is a widow so our babies won't have any grandpas in their life just 2 grandmas. My mom is very relaxed and easy going, she knows I'm pregnant again but DH and I have decided to wait until I'm 10 weeks to tell MIL and anyone else, just to have a few more weeks where its a "secret".
I'm trying to prepare myself for whats to come. Before I had the miscarriage in November MIL started cleaning out DH's old room at her house and has decided to put a crib in there and have toys so that it becomes babies new room. I'm afraid with her getting a crib she's under the impression that we will leave the baby at her house for her to babysit as well as for baby to spend the night. I have told DH that under no circumstances will I let our child spend the night at her house, I just don't trust MIL at all to watch baby when I'm not around and especially not overnight. He says well but shes just getting it so when we are at her house the baby will have a quiet place to sleep but he still has not asked his mom why exactly she's getting a crib. We don't even intend on getting a crib because we don't have the space for it in our tiny house (getting a pack and play).
DH and I have been together for nearly 5 years and he has set very few boundaries with MIL, although with a lot of persistence from me he is getting a little better. I just know she's going to be a problem when baby is here. I know this because DH and I have two large dogs and MIL freaks if she hasn't seen them in 2 weeks....they are dogs!!! But she considers them to be her granddogs and will make excuses or rearrange her work schedule to go to our house and use the key, that DH made for her, to get the dogs and take them to the dog park. She has allowed (even after we have told her she is not to) let our dogs jump up all over her and encourages them now to do so and its become a huge issue that we are having to constantly work on breaking with them. I know with the way she acts around our dogs that with a baby its going to be overwhelming and incredibly stressful on me.
On top of all of this, we are hoping and working towards me being able to stay at home with baby for the first year so DH is looking at taking a very demanding work schedule in the oil field where he will be working 15 hour days for 2 full weeks, then off/home for 1 week, then back at work for 2 weeks. What the heck am I going to do and how do I deal with MIL when he's gone???!!!!