My MIL is in a long TO (since April 2013) after continuous boundry stomps, complete disregard for others' feelings, and being unable to keep her mouth shut when it concerns our (DH and I) business.
Some examples are (but these are just the tip of the iceberg, not even close to being "all" for her):
Moved 2 hours away from DH when he was 16, so she could co inhabit with her boyfriend. Never wanted anything to do with him except one day out of every month when her retirement check from DH's Father (who he hasn't seen since he was 8) came in. Then he was required to drive an hour each way and take her her check. Again, didn't say two words to him other than Hi and Bye and the occasional "where is my check" or "can I borrow some money" until she found out through mutual friends that DH had met me and we were pretty serious. Then she went BSC.
The first day I met her, she hugged his neck and pulled him into her living room from the door, inhaling his neck deeply. Then she commented "You smell so good. Come get in my bed". And WINKED.
If we were to ride in a car with her, she would insist on being up front next to 'her boy'. If I drove and he was in the passenger seat, she'd unbuckle and hang her smoking asshead between us!
When she had to crash at our house during a hurricane (almost a year and a half ago now), he was walking through the house in his boxers and a t-shirt, she was supposed to be outside, and she walked inside and said something about his ass. Then she commented "I'm allowed to look at your ass, I made it. Besides, it's a fine ass and it's the only ass I have to look at".
Her big problem was "secrets". We kept "secrets" from her if we didn't include her in every conversation. If she found out we had been to eat, or to the movies, we were horrible people because "she never gets to do anything like that with us!"
Again, this is the tip of the iceberg. To make a very long story short, we ended up buying DH's childhood home (from the STATE) and moving it onto my property. We both really loved the house, and it was a complete surprise to us when we saw it coming up for sale due to nonpayment on MIL's part since 1999 on taxes, justic court fees, etc. We got it for a steal, even with having to pay thousands in back taxes, in March of 2013, and moved the house. The paperwork stated that she had been given notice in February of 2013 that all personal property in the house was to be removed by march of 2013, or it would go with the house and she would have no legal claim to it. However, she pitched a fit right before we went to move it in April, saying she wanted Dh's toys, and had left some personal items in the home. I decided to be nice and let her come go through and get what she wanted.
That visit was a DIASTER. I was trying to get stuff sorted. A small keep pile for us, a donate, a garage sale, and a trash pile. She would pull EVERYTHING out of the donate, trash, or garage sale pile and put it in the keep. Then she went on about she didn't know why we just didn't leave the house like it was. There was no need for us to "bother" dh's old things, and the wallpaper was lovely, no need to paint (only 20 years of NIOCTINE on the walls is all). Dh told her that it was ours, legally and clearly, and we had the right to do what we saw fit. Which of course, sent her into a rage of "he was so selfish, he didn't care about what all she had bought him as a kid, he was never respectful and a good son would want to keep all of his childhood "memories"". I'm sorry, but I don't have room for 10,000 legos!
They argued, and in the argument, she called me a bitch, and said that it was MY fault he was this way. I didn't need a sewing room (which is what the spare room was to be, except I found out I was pregnant less than two months after that!). He NEEDED to keep his old toys. I was a selfish fucking cunt, for asking for a little space of my own (we had already donated two closets full of the free t-shirts different businesses give you, as she said she had no room for them but we were welcome to them. Um, yeah we will just hold onto 100+ tshirts and I'll keep my clothes in the car.) DH jumped all over her and told her to GTFO and never come back.
We put her in a TO, and are leaning towards CO. We haven't spoken to her since. She msgs friends of ours from time to time, wanting to know what goes on in our lives. They usually BH or tell her it's not their place to tell. Today, she sent a msg to a friend I didn't even realize she knew (and btw, MIL doesn't know anything about our pregnancy unless her mother, GMIL, has told her, what the sex is, or that we're due in 4 weeks!) that basically said, she was coming to our house this coming weekend, and she was going to have a visit with her son. She kept repeating herself in the conversation, saying she "didn't want anything to happen to the baby" but she "needed to see her son". I mean said this 10+ times. Then she said "OP needs to get off her high horse, and be an adult, and have a nice visit, like an adult! Grudges over half truths aren't worth aynthing. I pray for OP everyday"
Of course, I thought she would never have the balls (or means) to contact me. I didn't realize she even had my email address. I got this at 11:52 pm tonight:
Now at this point, I don't know what to do. I showed DH and he said he wants nothing to do with her visits, or her. He's done. He says he never wants to deal with her crazy again.
Here is where I need advice: do we respond? Just BH? If we don't respond, and she shows up to our house, what do we do (because I see another lawn tantrum in our future, last time she stood in her yard and clucked and wagged her arms like a CHICKEN because we left instead of dealing with the crazy). If we do respond, what would you email back?
Thanks in advance :)