Cross posting this to get some opinions/advice. Forgive me if this is long, but I could use some advice on how to deal with this situation.
DH and I both work and are in college, and usually we make this work because we work opposite schedules. But this semester Monday nights we needed a babysitter because he has class while I'm at work. MIL and her boyfriend (who is much like a grandfather to DD) said they could watch her overnight on Mondays for the semester. I'm not a big fan of them taking her overnight because 1) I miss having her home and 2) she sleeps horribly at their house. But it was the only option we really had most times. From the beginning of the semester we told MIL that my mom would be able to watch her some Mondays too, and MIL always said "no no we will watch her." I left it alone at the time because my mom isn't able to watch DD every Monday so I thought it'd be a non-issue.
So the current situation... last week both grandparents were out of town on vacation. My parents got in last night and asked if they could have DD tonight (they haven't seen her in weeks). I told them yes, becuase honestly they deserve to and plus it's much easier for us because my mom is able to come to our house to watch her instead of her leaving. MIL and her boyfriend are still out of town and are flying in this afternoon. We told them yesterday my mom would be watching DD tonight (and we thought they'd appreciate the break; they can go home and relax from their trip instead of picking up DD and watching her). Well MIL basically told us "NO, we are going to watch her."
1) I really thought MIL would appreciate getting to get a full nights sleep tonight and getting to relax after her trip. 2) Do I really need to teach her that "sharing is caring"? She seriously hogs DD and my mother is lucky to get to see her once a month... MIL sees her multiple times a week. And 3) It drives me nuts that she feels she can fight the decision that DH and I are telling her.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that both of the grandmas love seeing DD. I'm really lucky that they both enjoy spending time with her. But seriously, this time it's my mom's turn. But MIL keeps countering everything I say. I don't even know how to tactically deal with the situation anymore because I didn't even think it'd be a big deal. I want MIL to know pretty much that she needs to respect MY decision, but I don't want to hurt her feelings or have the two of them mad at us.
GAHH grandma drama!