This might be long but bear with me. DH and I have been talking about FIL, and I explained that I'm worried he's trying to make DS his do-over, which I don't want to happen because he's OUR child. DH agreed and said he would make sure FIL doesn't try to take over. We also talked about the tricycle FIL bought when DS was a week old. I should've kept my mouth shut cause I just wanted everyone to hopefully forget it and we would get DS a trike and then act like I forgot about the other one. But if it is gifted, we will teach DS. Another thing we agreed on is no more babysitting until MIL is better from her hand surgery, but this is where I'm stuck cause I just want to say no more babysitting.
Here's what happened:
We went to the ILs as they invited us over for dinner last week. We needed to get more baby food, and since we weren't gonna be gone long we figured FIL would be fine with DS as MIL only has one working hand and can't hold him. We were only gone an hour and came back. DS was crying so I figured he wanted fed and nursed him. Then we went home and in the morning I noticed DS wasn't using his right arm at all. I tried getting him to use it but he would raise it slowly and wouldn't move it around like normal. We took him to the clinic to discover he had nursemaids elbow and the doctor popped it back in and took xrays to make sure there wasn't fracturing. I called MIL to let her know and she mentioned that she thought FIL almost dropped DS and caught him by the arm. Now she was slurry cause of her meds so this is what I THOUGHT she said. We went over there after since we live OOT and were waiting for the doctor to call back so we didn't have to come back in town.
MIL said she was sorry to hear what happened. FIL was in his cave but came out after a few minutes. He didn't say anything or go near DS. INSTEAD he decides to lecture DH on his bad decision making on vehicles, and I was about to just walk out while nursing, but DH shut it down and said they already had the discussion. DH said on Sunday he wanted to bring it up to FIL and let him know he didn't need to feel bad about what happened as it was an accident. I shut it down and told DH to not bother as instead of feeling sorry for DS, he decided to lecture his son on something that only effects us and kicking DH while he was at his lowest of the day.
I just don't know what to do at this point. DH and I do agree that there's two options for FIL's reaction, or lack-there-of.
1. FIL is rugsweeping and thinks if he doesn't bring it up, everything is ok.
Or
2. FIL doesn't believe he's at fault in any way and bringing it up will cause him to deny and possibly blow up. I also suspect he sees this as a 'normal' thing as he kinda gloated about how he did the same thing to DH when he was little.
I know DWIL has good advice and I just dont know how to act even though my momma bear is out. Also, MILs bday is next week so if I can get advice on that too on how to handle it.
Thanks if you made it.
Here's what happened:
We went to the ILs as they invited us over for dinner last week. We needed to get more baby food, and since we weren't gonna be gone long we figured FIL would be fine with DS as MIL only has one working hand and can't hold him. We were only gone an hour and came back. DS was crying so I figured he wanted fed and nursed him. Then we went home and in the morning I noticed DS wasn't using his right arm at all. I tried getting him to use it but he would raise it slowly and wouldn't move it around like normal. We took him to the clinic to discover he had nursemaids elbow and the doctor popped it back in and took xrays to make sure there wasn't fracturing. I called MIL to let her know and she mentioned that she thought FIL almost dropped DS and caught him by the arm. Now she was slurry cause of her meds so this is what I THOUGHT she said. We went over there after since we live OOT and were waiting for the doctor to call back so we didn't have to come back in town.
MIL said she was sorry to hear what happened. FIL was in his cave but came out after a few minutes. He didn't say anything or go near DS. INSTEAD he decides to lecture DH on his bad decision making on vehicles, and I was about to just walk out while nursing, but DH shut it down and said they already had the discussion. DH said on Sunday he wanted to bring it up to FIL and let him know he didn't need to feel bad about what happened as it was an accident. I shut it down and told DH to not bother as instead of feeling sorry for DS, he decided to lecture his son on something that only effects us and kicking DH while he was at his lowest of the day.
I just don't know what to do at this point. DH and I do agree that there's two options for FIL's reaction, or lack-there-of.
1. FIL is rugsweeping and thinks if he doesn't bring it up, everything is ok.
Or
2. FIL doesn't believe he's at fault in any way and bringing it up will cause him to deny and possibly blow up. I also suspect he sees this as a 'normal' thing as he kinda gloated about how he did the same thing to DH when he was little.
I know DWIL has good advice and I just dont know how to act even though my momma bear is out. Also, MILs bday is next week so if I can get advice on that too on how to handle it.
Thanks if you made it.