So I'm saying straight up this is a petty post and I'm embarrassed to even be posting it but I never wear my engagement ring anymore (I only wear my band) and am contemplating getting rid of it altogether.
BG: DH took me shopping to look at rings prior to us getting engaged. We went to a reputable retailer. I am not a huge jewerly person and really had no expectations. We started looking at smaller stones, and DH wanted to get a bigger size, then the next size. He/we ended up settling on a size diamond I never would have expected (not gigantic or anything but big to me). He paid for it and we left so the shop could set it. I, of course, was thrilled! I told my mom, my best friend, sister. I never thought I would own such a nice piece of jewelry.
FF to two days later, we are on a walk and his mom calls (we lived in the same town as her the first five years of our relationship). He must have told her about the ring. She called on his cell phone. There is a lot of "okaying" and "hmmming" and he hangs up. He then tells me his mom does not think we should buy the diamond from X retailer. She told him that the diamond would be junk (not true...it was GIA certified and if it was, who cares....we picked it out!). Mind you, this woman has a 10 carat diamond ring that is of such poor quality it looks like a smokey topaz. She also apparently told DH "your sister only has an X carat ring." So boom, right there, a limit was put on what size ring DH should buy me in her eyes.
She then told DH that she has a "diamond guy" and we should go look at what he has. This guy has a very good reputation (his prices are also very reasonable) in the area and we go to look. He only shows us three diamonds, all the same size as his sister's ring. He pushes one particular stone. It is still a decent size ring and I would have been happy with it if it was picked out when we went shopping prior to his mother's involvement. So we decide to go with that stone and cancel the ring with the other retailer.
But the diamond is substantially smaller than the stone DH had already bought. I feel super guilty and petty that I'm upset about the "downgrade" and don't say anything to DH about it.
I later learned that FIL and MIL made a visit to her "diamond guy" the day before we went and essentially blessed the three stones he showed us and really liked the one he sold us. So she, from behind the scenes, orchastrated everything. I've never liked my MIL, she has always been a handful, so this makes me not like the ring.
I also later learnd that she tried to get DH to take her diamond from her previous marriage. She got engaged when she was 17 so the ring was much smaller than what DH was considering. He told her no. I was shocked she tried to give him a diamond from her failed teenage marriage. She just did not want him to spend a penny on me.
DH has mentioned a few times (like for our 10 year annivesary) that we should look at upgrading my stone. I'm just not going to spend money that could be used towards my children's college fund on myself at this point. If he wanted me to have a certain stone, he should have purchased it when we were DINKS and could afford it.
Her involvement in the ring still pisses me off to this day. I hardly ever wear it.
For background, this is the "boundary stomping international visits" and "lovey" MIL.
I'm thinking of asking DH if we could just trade in the stone for something entirely different. Not necessarily upgrade or anything. I feel like this ring has bad juju. I hate that she picked it out. I have no sentimental attachment to it.
Sorry for the incredibly shallow story.