My mil and i have a tense relationship. We tolerate each other. She is respectful to me for the most part, but I find her to be extremely annoying. I can only tolerate her in very small doses. She has a very annoying laugh, and she is extremely nervous all the time which gives me anxiety when I am around her.
This Mother's Day ( also my mils birthday) we had plans to get together with my mother, my inlaws, dh and my brother. We had plans to go out to dinner and then back to my moms. My mil would never push for us to come to her house because we are on such tense terms. She always tries to let me make all the decisions now. I find this to be so annoying in itself. She is this weak minded passive person. You never know what she is truly thinking or where you stand with her. She tries to be a people pleaser but you can tell she is miserable.
This is after a major blow up between us a few months ago where I literally vomited out all of her behaviors that drove me nuts and hurt my feelings as a ftm.
Anyway, my mother is pretty funny and outgoing and relaxed and she tends to help my mil relax and I enjoy myself so much more when I don't really have to talk to my mil because my mother does. But unfortunately my mother got sick with the flu and all our Mother's Day plans went out the window and we ended up back at my mils house.
I would have had them at my house but my father in law can't get in. He is on a scooter and can't get in and we haven't been able to have them over.
My mil is such a nervous person. She has to have everything just so. We walk in and the table is set and she just directs the rest of the day. I hate having to just sit there in their annoying 55 and older community while she makes the day about her birthday. She has a cake that says happy Mother's Day but then puts a candle in it, we sing happy birthday to her and she asks my daughter to help her blow out the candle. I mean come on. Every year I have to deal with her birthday being on or around Mother's Day. And I just want to have my moment with my family.
Eventually I told my dh I couldn't take it anymore. We left, went home and I threw on some work out clothes and told my husband i was taking dd running in the jogging stroller. He came with me to the park and I ended up running while dh and my dd played and then they joined me running around a path that loops around the park. That was all I wanted. Some relaxed time with my dh and my dd. not sitting around with my inlaws.
I was glad that we got to leave and have some time alone just us. And I know I wouldn't have been upset if my mother was there and we ended up at my mothers house.
I need to get past this and somehow make peace with my mil and her birthday and not let it get me down so much. And I need to put my foot down and make sure on Mother's Day regardless of my mils birthday, that some part of the day is based on what I want to do.
This Mother's Day ( also my mils birthday) we had plans to get together with my mother, my inlaws, dh and my brother. We had plans to go out to dinner and then back to my moms. My mil would never push for us to come to her house because we are on such tense terms. She always tries to let me make all the decisions now. I find this to be so annoying in itself. She is this weak minded passive person. You never know what she is truly thinking or where you stand with her. She tries to be a people pleaser but you can tell she is miserable.
This is after a major blow up between us a few months ago where I literally vomited out all of her behaviors that drove me nuts and hurt my feelings as a ftm.
Anyway, my mother is pretty funny and outgoing and relaxed and she tends to help my mil relax and I enjoy myself so much more when I don't really have to talk to my mil because my mother does. But unfortunately my mother got sick with the flu and all our Mother's Day plans went out the window and we ended up back at my mils house.
I would have had them at my house but my father in law can't get in. He is on a scooter and can't get in and we haven't been able to have them over.
My mil is such a nervous person. She has to have everything just so. We walk in and the table is set and she just directs the rest of the day. I hate having to just sit there in their annoying 55 and older community while she makes the day about her birthday. She has a cake that says happy Mother's Day but then puts a candle in it, we sing happy birthday to her and she asks my daughter to help her blow out the candle. I mean come on. Every year I have to deal with her birthday being on or around Mother's Day. And I just want to have my moment with my family.
Eventually I told my dh I couldn't take it anymore. We left, went home and I threw on some work out clothes and told my husband i was taking dd running in the jogging stroller. He came with me to the park and I ended up running while dh and my dd played and then they joined me running around a path that loops around the park. That was all I wanted. Some relaxed time with my dh and my dd. not sitting around with my inlaws.
I was glad that we got to leave and have some time alone just us. And I know I wouldn't have been upset if my mother was there and we ended up at my mothers house.
I need to get past this and somehow make peace with my mil and her birthday and not let it get me down so much. And I need to put my foot down and make sure on Mother's Day regardless of my mils birthday, that some part of the day is based on what I want to do.