I know this is a marriage issue, but a lot of people here know my bg, so I 'm posting it here. I'm on vacation with duh, ds, and dd. Having a good time for the most part. Since duh and I haven't had any time alone I haven't had a chance to say anything to him about this - I don't want the kids to hear it.
A few days into the trip, he gave me the spare set of keys to the rental car (he didn't do it sooner because they were connected to the other set with a thick wire - when he found a way to cut the wire, he gave me the keys). At one point he told me to go start the car to get it cooled off, so I did.
Next day we stopped at a convenience store, and I left my bag in the car and went in to get some snacks, using money I had in my pocket. I asked the cashier if there was a post office nearby so I could mail postcards. She said there was a drop box across the street. I went to the car - duh was still inside getting a drink- and realized I couldn't get my postcard because it and presumably the keys were in my bag, in the locked car. I went back into the store to ask duh for his keys.
He started ranting about how it doesn't do any good for me to have keys if I don't keep them with me, and since I can't keep up with them he was going to give them to one of the kids. (They are older). I didn't say a word, just went out and stood by the car until he came out and let us in. He refused to drive across the street so I could mail my cards.
He then said, "Ds, dd, which one of you wants to keep the extra set of keys?" Dd volunteered because she didn't know what was going on, but I just sat there and duh drove off, also without saying anything else. I looked in my bag a few minutes later, and .... no keys. I was already upset at how duh tried to use my kids to humiliate me for being "irresponsible" and then I really coudn't find the keys! I was so hurt, and so perplexed about where the keys were that I fought back tears for several hours and didn't even enjoy the only time I will probably ever see the Grand Canyon.
Yet, while we were driving, I remembered the time I started the car to cool it off and realized duh had never given me my set of keys back. He was berating me for my irresponsibility, but he was the one who made the mistake. The next day we were getting ready to go somewhere else and he took the keys out of his pocket and they were my keys. I think he was about to put them back in his pocket when he saw me looking at them. Then he said," I don't know how these got in my pocket." I said,"I do. You never gave them back to me that time I started the car to cool it off." He actually started to give them to dd before I reached for them.
Cue apology......... but all I got was crickets. He has not apologized. Probably never will.