My DH has 6 siblings, all 7 of the kids have a significant other and two of them have their own kids. The range is 30-19yrs old so there is drama every way I turn. I'm going to try to keep the BG relevant, but honestly, I could write a whole post on each person. I can supply extra background where needed.
*Also, I gave the SIL mentioned in this post the link to DWIL, so...yeah.*
My FIL is BSC. My MIL enables him. My DH's siblings rug sweep everything. Within the past year or so, DH has started to realize that the things that FIL does are NOT OK.
*Animal Abuse Triggers*
Highlights from before I dated DH:
-FIL shot my DHâ's dog when he was 15. He shot the dog in front of DH because it was digging in the garden. The dog survived.
-A few months later, DH forgot to put the dog back in the house and the dog scratched the door. When he got home from school, he found his dog dead, hanging by her collar in the barn. His father told him that he would have beaten the dog for a week before killing her.
*End Animal Abuse Triggers*
*General Creepy Sexual Triggers*
Highlights from the past 5 years:
-From my understanding, he used to watch porn on the family TV with the kids in the room
-More than once, he would lay between my DH (bf at the time) and I on the bed when we were trying to go to sleep (wtf did I just type?!?!?! how did I let that happen?!?!?!)
-He would very frequently stare at my chest. (see above parentheses)
-He left playboy and other sexually explicit magazines laying around the house
*End Gross Sexual Triggers*
Last August, FIL and I got into a screaming match. There is a very complicated BG on what went down, but basically, youngestSIL's BF was at our house at the same time FIL was and he went BSC on him. When it looked like FIL might hit the BF, I stepped in and told him that his behavior wasn’t welcome in my home and to take it outside. I had hoped that would end it, but he ended up shouting in my face instead. Honestly? I thought he was going to hit me. I did successfully kick him out.
Since then, FIL hasn't been allowed back in our house. My DH and everyone else that was there that day agree that they thought he was going to hit me.
Can you believe that was all just background???
The oldest BIL has recently been pushing back against the rug sweeping and standing up to FIL. I don't really know much about what has been going on with them because of our strict no gossiping policy, but I do know that shit hit the fan on Friday.
Apparently BIL and SIL were at an event that PIL were also at. At some point, SIL must have been standing by herself because it was at this point that FIL put his (she said hands, he says 'arm') around her neck. They exchanged harsh words. At some point BIL confronted FIL about what he was saying/doing to SIL and they “had to be pulled apartâ€.
Ok. So FIL either assaulted my SIL or acted in a very physically intimidating manner. Either way, FATHER IN LAW IS CUT OFF FROM ME. POINT BLANK.
I need help guys. DH is a DH. He has my back 100% in terms of words and we are working on the action part in therapy.
As far as I know, the family doesn't know that I am backing oldest BIL and SIL 100%. They have already gotten FMs and will likely get at least one lawn tantrum within the next month (a birthday coming up). As soon as they realize what 'side' we are on (you now, the side of sanity), we will probably also get a good number of flying monkeys.
My spine is new guys. I like to think it is rock hard but it's not. Help?
*Edit to fix those stupid marks