Everyone, I need advice. I've been reading everyone's posts and I really admire everyone's strength in setting boundaries and I think the advice given on this forum is fantastic.
This is somewhat long and drawn out but I want to give as much detail as possible. DF and I have been together for 7 years and we are expecting our first. We are very excited. I CO my own mother about 4 years ago because of domestic violence against me. I have become very strong-willed but during this time, FMIL has been there for me. I appreciate it, but I'm somewhat nervous about our relationship now.
DF has a shaky relationship with her. She abandoned him when he was young and she has never apologized to him or tried to make amends. She says that "The Lord forgives her and that's all that matters". She has become very religious over the past few years, always imploring me to pray about EVERYTHING ( and I mean everything, I'm not exaggerating here); that is always her advice. She insists that the only way to live life is by the Bible and makes DF and I uncomfortable by constantly talking about what the Bible says, etc. I am Catholic, she was Catholic but is now (what she refers to herself as ) Fundamentalist Conservative Baptist.
I try not to engage in conversations with her about religion or politics because of her extreme views. She makes racist comments and says that if we don't baptize our baby by "dunking him/her, as per the Bible", then he/she is destined to go to Hell. She is insisting on having a shower for me at her church, and I know no one that she is inviting. I forgot to mention that we live 3 hours away from her, so luckily there is that distance there.
At any rate, she calls me or messages me on chat every day. She leaves messages about God all over this baby diary thing I have online. I might add that DF told her to refrain from "preaching " when he told her we were expecting. She told me to make sure that my OB is a Christian and to blatantly ask what her religious preference is. I could go on and on. I'm just trying to give background here. It's not that I don't believe in God but I don't like the constant preaching and I am open minded when it comes to religion. I feel everyone has the right to choose and so does DF.
To cut to the chase here, she wants to come down when the baby comes. For a week. Her husband is extremely religious as well but very dependent on her and does not want to be apart from her at all. So she is telling me that they are going to trade his truck in for a motor home so that they can come and park it in our driveway while she is here "helping me". I am not comfortable with this at all. Neither is DF. My question is how to handle this? She is very vocal about Grandparent's Rights and I could totally see her taking us to court for visitation if we attempt to CO or even TO. In your opinion, do I even have grounds for a CO or TO at this point? I'm sorry for the lengthy post here but I am anticipating problems. Please help me. I will be awaiting your responses. Thank you so much.
I'm also only phone so I apologize for typos!
This is somewhat long and drawn out but I want to give as much detail as possible. DF and I have been together for 7 years and we are expecting our first. We are very excited. I CO my own mother about 4 years ago because of domestic violence against me. I have become very strong-willed but during this time, FMIL has been there for me. I appreciate it, but I'm somewhat nervous about our relationship now.
DF has a shaky relationship with her. She abandoned him when he was young and she has never apologized to him or tried to make amends. She says that "The Lord forgives her and that's all that matters". She has become very religious over the past few years, always imploring me to pray about EVERYTHING ( and I mean everything, I'm not exaggerating here); that is always her advice. She insists that the only way to live life is by the Bible and makes DF and I uncomfortable by constantly talking about what the Bible says, etc. I am Catholic, she was Catholic but is now (what she refers to herself as ) Fundamentalist Conservative Baptist.
I try not to engage in conversations with her about religion or politics because of her extreme views. She makes racist comments and says that if we don't baptize our baby by "dunking him/her, as per the Bible", then he/she is destined to go to Hell. She is insisting on having a shower for me at her church, and I know no one that she is inviting. I forgot to mention that we live 3 hours away from her, so luckily there is that distance there.
At any rate, she calls me or messages me on chat every day. She leaves messages about God all over this baby diary thing I have online. I might add that DF told her to refrain from "preaching " when he told her we were expecting. She told me to make sure that my OB is a Christian and to blatantly ask what her religious preference is. I could go on and on. I'm just trying to give background here. It's not that I don't believe in God but I don't like the constant preaching and I am open minded when it comes to religion. I feel everyone has the right to choose and so does DF.
To cut to the chase here, she wants to come down when the baby comes. For a week. Her husband is extremely religious as well but very dependent on her and does not want to be apart from her at all. So she is telling me that they are going to trade his truck in for a motor home so that they can come and park it in our driveway while she is here "helping me". I am not comfortable with this at all. Neither is DF. My question is how to handle this? She is very vocal about Grandparent's Rights and I could totally see her taking us to court for visitation if we attempt to CO or even TO. In your opinion, do I even have grounds for a CO or TO at this point? I'm sorry for the lengthy post here but I am anticipating problems. Please help me. I will be awaiting your responses. Thank you so much.
I'm also only phone so I apologize for typos!