I just found out what DWIL means... I had this question posted ina different group but I though maybe I could post it here too...
A bit of background...
I'm 27. My boyfriend is 34 and his sister is 42.
When she was younger she had a breakdown and it was diagnosed as a "bipolar/schiophrenic" episode. During that time and after she finished at a top university, even continued her education on and held many nice jobs. She has been unemployed for about 6+ years. She was fired from her current job because she was too proud to change positions ( according to my boyfriend). She has never left their parent's house. She's now on disability and has not looked for another job since. It may not be my place but given the fact that she is more than capable of working and contributing to society I don't understand why she is on diability... It feels like a cop out... their family doctor is a family friend so something tells me they pulled at her breakdown when she was younger to prove her "disability case".
She drives a nice car, has credit cards but has no need to work. She also makes comments how she is broke and has no money... wouldn't she think she needs to get a job? It's laziness at this point. She is using her breakdown in the past for this behaviour. She has NO responsibilities, lives at home scott free and is treated like a baby. I keep thinking she is only 9 years younger than my mom... 
I know it's coming across like I'm attacking her but give me a break...
Whenever I am around she is always making comments about all of her jobs in the past and how much money she made. How she would go into the store and drop $1000 and not even care. I'm SICK of hearing her talk about all this BS in the past. She is very pretentious and that has nothing to do with her breakdown/illness... that is just her personality (according to my boyfriend) She is very self centered and very odd. Whenever I am at his parent's house it feels like I am the oldest one in the house... the parent's baby her and allow this to go but then they complain about it at the same time. All you hear is her saying "Dad do you have any candy/chocolate?... aw why not come on I want chocoate" "Mom can you make me some fries" "What are you going to buy me for my birthday" She does absolutely nothing all day but sits on the couch and eat. She feels as if shes entitled to everything. The first thing she'll ask you when you come in the door is if you bought her anything.
For her last birthday (when I barely knew her that well) I was invited out to dinner with the family and I bought her a card and these really nice gourmet cupcakes that I had to specially order. I like to make nice gestures but if people feel entitled or are ungrateful then I feel extremely stupid.
This year for my birthday she barely even wished me happy birthday and of course a cheap birthday card was totally out of the question... of course not... because everything has to be about her. For my birthday my boyfriend bought me a Mac book and other things. He didn't tell her or his mom because he knew how the sister would react. (He bought her one for Christmas a while back when she first lost her job to help her get back into the swing of things... well that was many years ago and she only uses it to play games). She found out he bought me one for my birthday and basically had a temper tantrum.
My boyfriend has come to resent her and they barely talk because of how she is. We've done things together and I've invited her out. For the most part we get along, have a few laughs then she does something to remind me of how she really is... Makes every conversation about her and feels so entitled. She has never once offered to pay for anything when we've all gone out. Doesn't even touch her wallet. If that was me I'd be embarrassed.
I'vd told a few people about her and they just makes comments like you know that's genetic are you sure you're ready for all that. My question to him and question here is... what happens when something happens to his parent's? His parents are older... what is his sister going to do? Someone capable of working and holding her own now becomes her younger brother's responsibility?
I marry him and I guess I get her too? It may have been forward onmy part but I've talked about this with my boyfriend before and he says his parent's know that he is not okay with her behaviour and is not taking care of her or having her live with him. I guarentee his parent's thought and still think if something happens to them she now becomes her brother's reposibility. She's not 12 I don't get this mess. The parent's have no plan set in place if something ever were to happen... they just continue to allow this day in and day out. She is so self-absorbed and so far off in this entitlement/"im a baby" behaviour that I highly doubt she could function on her own at this point.
I don't want to sign up for that...
Some advice please
ps. I'm sorry if it came across like I was attacking her but you really have to be in the same room with her to completely understand how draining and ridiculous it is.