I've been having some issues with my Mil and her side of DH's family. DH is also getting disappointed in them also. (btw his mom and dad divorced when he was younger)
We were suppose to be getting a washer and dryer from their old house in May. Mil kept saying she would rent a dolly and DH's stepdad would help him get it loaded onto his stepdad's truck. Then on father's day I was like okay fuck this procrastinating and I messaged my uncle and borrowed his appliance dolly. we went over to Mil's new place the day next day and DH's stepdad had a sore knee so he didnt want to do it. The next weekend the basement flooded where the washer and dryer are and there was about 4 feet of water. We asked her to call their insurance and everything to see if replacing them would be covered and she said that they didnt have insurance anymore. After about a month of nothing she said we needed to get the washer and dryer out this previous weekend. we tried setting something up with them and everything kept falling through. DH's stepdad sold his truck the day we were suppose to get it and told us just a few hours before getting it. Then we set something up with my mom and her hubby (my parents are also seperated, never married to begin with) and at midnight we get a text from mil and she said that the washer was full of mold and that the dryer didnt work (we asked her to check the washer and dryer and she said she couldnt because there was no electricity) and that she contacted the insurance company and they said they might be able to cover it.... she waited this long to call the insurance company after we asked her to call them before... so here we sit still without a washer and dryer that mil said we could have and that she wants us to have.
This isnt the first time this side of DH's family has let us down. We use to live with DH's family for a bit till we were able to get our own place. They helped us move out as fast as possible. We moved into a 1 bedroom apartment. When we got pregnant with DD we had to move to a 2 bedroom apartment up stairs from where we were living. I was 16 weeks along when we were able to start moving and Mil said that they would help us move the heavy stuff, like the couch, loveseat, dressers...ect. We kept asking over and over when they would be able to help because we had 2 weeks to move. DH got frustrated with them not helping and the last 2 days we had he moved the couch up while I was sleeping (the couch was very heavy and he didnt want me to even attempt to move it) and after I noticed that I helped him move everything else that was big up the stairs.
Another time they let DH down was when DD was born. Mil was super excited to be a grandma. They were with us while I was in the hospital. She kept saying we were going to have so much help (which I doubted) and how they would help us and everything. They stopped by once since DD has been born and have taken her over 3 times, twice when she was about 2 months old and once when she was 17 months old. They hardly see DD and seem to not want to spend any time with her. my oldest BIL and only SIL are the only ones to get excited when they see her. my youngest BIL thinks DD hates him because she is shy around him and when she was younger she would cry every time she seen him because he always talked loud. My Sil has taken her a couple times to go out and about to parades and a few other places.
Another time they disappointed DH was when we moved to a different town. We went from an apartment to a town home. DH asked his mom and siblings if they could help us move because once again I was pregnant and was in the 1st trimester and once again we had 2 weeks to move and no one could watch DD except on the last weekend we had to move. Once again after we kept asking them for help, even to just watch DD, they wouldnt help at all. My brother helped with the big things this time and the final weekend my dad and stepmom watched DD.
The only grandparents that has taken DD more than 5 times has been my dad and stepmom. My mom and stepdad have taken her maybe 4 times, DH's mom has taken her 3 times and DH's dad has taken her once (but he lives 2 hours away in a different state).
DH is loosing hope that his family even cares about him. They never seem to even want to talk to DD on the phone when she calls them (yes she does call them by herself and they ignore her). When we lived with DH's family he would talk to his mom every night and they had a great bond. As soon as he moved out it all seemed to stop. Now she seems to always ignore him when he tries to call her. Even though they are home every weekend with no plans or anything. They arent even that busy during the day.
I had a gender reveal party and DH's mom lied about having to work so that she didnt have to come to the party.
We have been on our own for almost 4 years and for those 4 years DH is loosing more and more hope in the relationships on his side of the family.
What would you do to restore the relationship between DH and his mom? I want him to be able to go to his mom for anything again just like he did before we moved out. I want them to be closer. I dont want DH to feel disappointed in his family anymore.
I've felt disappointed in my family before, my mom's side before she got married this past March. I hate the feeling of being disappointed in my family but my mom and I were never close like DH and his mom were so it just makes it that much worse for DH. I hate to see him loosing hope in his family and the pain he goes through with loosing that hope.