Background: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a42351637/bec_ud_pg._4_5_trigger_7_9_13_18_20_21_23_26_28_duh_29_package
Okay. So, the package mentioned at the end of the background thread was returned to my mom, left on the porch for them while they were at church. I haven't heard anything from her since. It's been beautiful. I did include her and PS in a family email a couple of months ago announcing my pregnancy, since I knew they would find out anyway and felt keeping it from them was a little vindictive. I resumed BHing their responses, and neither of them has tried to contact me again.
So, onto some new drama with my family.
Every year, my oldest sister (OS1) comes to visit with her family. This year, their visit coincides with PS's 30th birthday. Apparently PS is having some giant party to celebrate (although I don't know details, since I'm getting all my information from OS1). OS2 and her family are also driving up, not unusual since they visit several times a year. OS1 makes it a point to talk with me and plan for a visit with my family, since she knows I won't go to my mom's house.
OS2 has been basically on radio silence, which is really unusual since we talk/text regularly. I finally texted her a couple of days ago asking if we were going to get to see her. She kind of avoided answering the question.
In talking more with OS1 yesterday, I found out that OS4 is flying out to be here for PS's birthday. I haven't seen OS4 in almost 4 years. She's never met my son. They live out in CA and can't really afford to come out. I messaged her and asked if she could spare a couple of hours one day to see me and the kids. Her answer?
No. Because Mom paid for her ticket, and she wouldn't "feel right" leaving them when she's only here for a few days. Never mind that I wasn't asking for much. Mom wouldn't approve, so...
I messaged her back and let her know that it was pretty insulting that she was so worried about Mom's approval that she couldn't take a couple hours to see me and my kids, and that my feelings were hurt, but that I respect her decision.
Her response: " I am SO sorry that I didn't tell you I was coming into town. The day before I was going to let you know (this was weeks ago after I bought the ticket), Mom emailed me and asked me NOT to tell you. She felt IF she could surprise you by waiting until I had arrived to invite you down, you would be more willing to come. I think she had higher expectations, hopes...what's the word I'm thinking of (I'm sure you know the one I want, since you're better with words than I am)...that my presence would motivate you to come see all of us. Believe me, this is not how I wanted it to be. I wanted to tell you, and I didn't like keeping it from you, because I knew if you found out (like you did), you would be hurt. BUT, I know Mom is trying everything she can think of to have contact with you again, so I went along with it. "
She then apologized. I pointed out to her that it's much better to be direct with me, and that those sort of "secrets" make me feel like I'm being manipulated (which, of course, is exactly what is being attempted, I was trying to not be too accusatory). She asked if I'd be willing to meet up with them somewhere. I'm unsure of who "them" includes, so I said it was a possibility, but I really doubt it'll happen.
I'm pissed. It's been almost a year. I've been enjoying my peace and quiet these past few months! I'm just not sure how to deal with this hot mess. I love seeing my sisters, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my peace of mind to do so. And I REALLY don't appreciate the manipulation. At all.
Where do I go from here? How do I prepare for the shitstorm I'm sure is coming?
Edited to remove weird characters.