A year ago SO and I were living with his family. We paid $900 a month to essentially rent a damn room. We argued almost every day because he kept promising that we were going to move, but when it came time to look for an apartment he would get pissed that I was bringing it up. It wasn't like we couldn't afford it; even in NY we could have found a studio or one bedroom for what we were paying. He was just reluctant to leave because his father had recently passed and they were his "only family". Apparently my daughter and I didn't count.
I took our daughter, moved back in with my parents, and after a month found a one bedroom apartment. I was working and I also went back to school. He would see DD on the weekends. Fast forward a month, I get a call from him that his mother is moving and he has nowhere to go. He had just paid her his rent so he had no money. She had been saving the rent money to finance her move so the electric bill (which was in his name) was over three hundred and he had nothing. I told him he could stay on my couch until he got back on his feet.
During all of this he kept saying he wanted nothing to do with his family. His mother was dead to him blah blah blah. It wasn't my business; we weren't together anymore. I was just happy that his boundary stomping cuntastic mother was moving far enough away that she would never lay eyes on DD again. However, I did say one thing about the CO: "I don't want this to turn into you made me cut them off. So if that's what you're doing make sure it's because it's what you want."
Fast forward a year. He and I got back together. I'm in school and DD is about to start daycare. My mother watched her last semester, but after a knee replacement obviously she can't anymore. SO is so against daycare! It has been constant fight with him. One day while we were arguing about DD and daycare he yells, "you made me cut off my family and now you won't do the same." He believes we should cut my mother off because in his eyes she is refusing to watch DD.
So how do I deal with this? He apologized saying, "I shouldn't have said that to you. I'm taking out my frustration with everything on you and I shouldn't do that." But he never said that he doesn't blame me for cutting off his family. So now I feel that all the fighting is really because he resents me for the situation with his family. I'm just really pissed because it's like we have not seen that Cuntdragon in well over a year and somehow we are still fighting about his god damn faaammmily! So what do I do now?
I took our daughter, moved back in with my parents, and after a month found a one bedroom apartment. I was working and I also went back to school. He would see DD on the weekends. Fast forward a month, I get a call from him that his mother is moving and he has nowhere to go. He had just paid her his rent so he had no money. She had been saving the rent money to finance her move so the electric bill (which was in his name) was over three hundred and he had nothing. I told him he could stay on my couch until he got back on his feet.
During all of this he kept saying he wanted nothing to do with his family. His mother was dead to him blah blah blah. It wasn't my business; we weren't together anymore. I was just happy that his boundary stomping cuntastic mother was moving far enough away that she would never lay eyes on DD again. However, I did say one thing about the CO: "I don't want this to turn into you made me cut them off. So if that's what you're doing make sure it's because it's what you want."
Fast forward a year. He and I got back together. I'm in school and DD is about to start daycare. My mother watched her last semester, but after a knee replacement obviously she can't anymore. SO is so against daycare! It has been constant fight with him. One day while we were arguing about DD and daycare he yells, "you made me cut off my family and now you won't do the same." He believes we should cut my mother off because in his eyes she is refusing to watch DD.
So how do I deal with this? He apologized saying, "I shouldn't have said that to you. I'm taking out my frustration with everything on you and I shouldn't do that." But he never said that he doesn't blame me for cutting off his family. So now I feel that all the fighting is really because he resents me for the situation with his family. I'm just really pissed because it's like we have not seen that Cuntdragon in well over a year and somehow we are still fighting about his god damn faaammmily! So what do I do now?