**This could contain triggers. MIL is a graphic, deceptive, bitch. Please keep in mind no one really died.**
BG:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a49078714/cakenappers?cpg=1#c2452013104
[Short version: Basically, MIL stole my kid's cake because I wouldn't invite her to LO's birthday party, MIL had a breakdown, I now have a RO against CO MIL. Me and DH moved across the country. I put 1,736 miles between us and BSC MIL.]
DH absolutely loves his new job - it's his dream job. He is actually excited to go to work in the morning lol. There are sooo many more activities for DD to participate in, and she loves it. We found out (after a while of TTC and being told I was unable to have anymore children), that we are expecting a LO in March! In short, things have just been perfect.
I had even made the comment to DH, "Wow. MIL has really backed off since we moved. DH, I am really proud that she's getting the help she needs." We even talked about if MIL got some help and improved for a long period of time, would we let DD see her? We are kind of wary about it, but just pushed the matter aside and switched subjects. We said we would deal with it when we got there.
I spoke way too fucking soon. Flash forward to yesterday.
DH is at work and in a meeting. During this meeting, he had 26 missed calls from MIL. Of course, DH's phone is always on silent when he's working, so he didn't see it until lunch. She left about four voicemails. Here is the summary of all four of them:
1. "DH, this is MIL. Please call me back. It's (dramatic sob)....FIL."
2. "(sobbing) DH, please. You need to call."
3. "DH. (hysterical sobbing)." She just hung up.
4. "DH (more hysterical sobbing), I didn't want to tell you this over a voicemail, but he's dead."
DH said that he thought FIL left MIL at first, but after the fourth one he went into complete shock. He called MIL back right away, and according to MIL, FIL had an accident at work and there was nothing they could do to help him.
Oh, in case I never mentioned this. FIL and DH have this perfect Father-Son relationship. Like, throwing a football in the yard, cheering at all the soccer games, working on the car together. So, DH was completely distraught.
He called me and told me what happened. He asked if we could go to the funeral and, of course I agreed. He asked if he could stop by MIL's after the funeral (just him, not me or DD) and get some of FIL's old things. Of course I agreed to that. He asked if we could leave tonight or tomorrow, so he could help MIL and BIL (He said we did not have to go if we didn't think we would be comfortable) plan the funeral. I was like, "of course, DH. Whatever you need to do."
So, I'm making plans with my cousin to see if we can stay with her and if she could babysit DD during FIL's funeral. My cousin was so helpful, and even said she would pick us up from the airport if she needed us to.
I'm checking flights, seeing if I can find a dog/house sitter this late, packing all of me, DH, and DD's stuff. I'm rescheduling a prenatal appointment to the next week, and trying to get an angry toddler to sleep.
DH comes home trying to write a eulogy, and FIL wanted to be cremated and DH wants to spread the ashes at FIL's favorite fishing spot. He doesn't want the service to be religious and hope MIL won't try to force religion (FIL is not religious).
MIL called DH a couple of times. Once was about DH's other brother, who is deployed and how she couldn't get a hold of him. Another was asking if DD was coming and another was asking if I was coming (that should've been a massive red flag). She called again asking when we were coming and when she can expect us. DH told her me and DD were staying with my cousin, but he would be there as soon as he could.
MIL threw a fit saying how much she needed to see DD right now. She's so lonely and scared. DH ignored her (not on purpose, DH was just distraught) and asked about FIL and what happened at work, MIL said she wasn't sure, but she was going to identify the body.
We had the car loaded and DD woke up from her nap, and we were about to leave. MIL called again, sobbing hysterically, saying that he was so injured she didn't know who he was at first, and she was advised that the casket at the ceremony needed to stay closed.
DH breaks down again when he hears this.
So, we're are on the road for about two hours and DH's phone rings again, but it wasn't MIL, it was FIL. Here is the conversation:
FIL: "Hey, do you guys need a lawnmower?"
DH: (jumps) "Dad, is that you? Dad?"
FIL: "....Yes."
DH: "I thought you were dead!!"
FIL: "What the fuck, son?"
DH tells FIL what MIL said, said she did, etc. Cue FIL going into tyrannical rage. He is yelling at MIL about respect and the law, etc.
Then you hear MIL: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I WAS BRINGING THEM BACK!! THEY WERE COMING BACK TO ME!"
We hung up.
Today, FIL has let us know that he put DH and I on his emergency contact list, so if anything were to happen, his work or the hospital would notify us the same time they notified MIL.
FIL told us to change our numbers, and he apologized. He said he had our numbers saved as false names, but she must've called and figured it out if it went to VM. He said, for now, it would be best to communicate through email, since MIL wasn't respecting our boundaries. He gave us his work email that MIL doesn't know the password to.
He said he is taking MIL to get professional help.
My number has been changed, DH has to wait because his phone is through his work. I have an appointment with an attorney tomorrow, and DH told his work that there was a mistake and his Father was okay. He isn't at trouble at work or anything.
I honestly didn't think MIL was capable of this. She has lost it.
ETA- We were driving instead of flying because in one of MIL's phone calls, she was saying that she needed him right away. DH was afraid she was going to try to kill herself.