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Should I just not celebrate LO's first birthday??

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Hello everyone  I made  this anonymous account because SO's sister is an  enmeshed,  boundary stomping, unicorny, entitled BEC.  A member of this group actually. She's even posted on here before asking for advice on how to get her brother to be part  of her kids' life because  mean old SIL and their LO took him away from her.

I lmao  when I read the comments telling her to leave us alone haha!!




Anyway last time  I posted  on here she ran and told SO about  my post. He actually  told her it was something he and I had  already discussed. This put her in a TO from  LO and  me.  Unfortunately SO has a bad case of the glitery rainbow pooping unicorns and does not want to be part of the TO.



Here is my issue, LO's birthday  is right around the corner. SO and  I have  not discussed it yet but I know he's going to  want to take  LO to his mom's house for  the birthday party. They are all super enmeshed and ALWAYS celebrate everyone's birthday there.  We live in a super tiny apartment and  won't be able to have a party  in it. Also we are on a very tight  budget and  can't really  rent out a venue.

I want to plan a party myself and have  full control of planning it.  I know  if I ask  SO for help he'll only call his  mom or say,  “Let's just have it at my moms house and she'll take care of everything. ".



I guess what  I want  advice on is, a) good  budget  party ideas of where I can have the party that won't be  too expensive (I've honestly  never been to a one year old's birthday party lol),                                                          b) how can I let SO know that I don't want  his mom to expect  she can  plan her own  birthday party for LO. With out being to blunt because that will go like a fart in church. 

I know she's going to  use the excuse of other family members live to far to go,  so I must have one at my house for them.


I suffer from  bad anxiety  and  just thinking about it  makes  my anxiety level  go through the roof. So much so I'm debating whether to even have a party at all.  I'm sure SO's mom will bring it up soon enough.

 How has everyone else handled first birthdays with boundry stomping in-laws problems??  HELP!

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