Hi DWIL! I'm a longtime lurker, but a first time poster, but Ive read the sticky and everything, so I know the ropes.
Here's my BG:
My husband is a practicing and devout Muslim. I'm from a "Christian" family. It's in quotes because we never really went to church or anything. Maybe like once when my grandma was in town for Easter or something. We were always cultural Christians, so to speak. I know the basics and I believe in God and all that, but we were never church-goers and Christmas was never really about Jesus, even though it was tradition to read the story of his birth on Christmas Eve. Day of was all about Santa and presents and roast beef and pie.
Anyhow, all this is a non-issue with DH. When we got married he said he wanted to raise our kids Muslim and I was 100% okay with it--still am. His faith is important to him.
We have been pretty successful at the whole interreligious marriage thing. We go over to my FOO's for American/Christian holidays and we do Islamic holidays with my ILs.
This was until last Christmas. Yeah, it's September and I'm talking Christmas already. Out of nowhere, my mom decided that our kids need to know their "Christian side" and the holiday with my parents was suddenly all about Jesus. There was a nativity scene set up by the fireplace and my mom made all the grandkids listen to the story of Jesus's birth before opening gifts that were no longer from Santa or even Grandma and Grandpa, but the three wise men?? WTF??? We said grace before we ate, which we literally NEVER did when I was growing up.
The whole thing was super awkward, not just for my husband. It was weird for everyone. NONE of my siblings are actively practicing Christians. It just wasn't instilled in us.
DH was really polite and went along with it. Muslims respect Jesus, too, and believe in the virgin birth. They believe he is a prophet and not divine, but he is an important figure in the religion, nonetheless. But anyway, DH put his foot down when my mom tried to take the kids to some evening service after dinner. Mom pouted and made some p/a remarks, but when DH was ready to walk out the door, she perked up and we stayed.
Sorry for getting lengthy. Anyway, my mom texted me the other day. This is how the conversation went (editing out typos for you laides):
Mom: Hi Aileen. I was wondering if you have the kids' Chritsmas lists yet. I want to get started shopping early this year. [side note--we exchange gift lists at Thanksgiving, normally]
Me: Hi Mom. Kind of early for Christmas shopping, isn't it?
Mom: I want to get an early start. I want to focus on Christmas activities as the holiday gets closer.
Me: Activities?
Mom: I was thinking the kids could put on a nativity play this year. Cute, huh? Mahmoud might still be too young, but he could be a sheep or something.
Me: I don't think Ahmed will be comfortable with that.
Mom: I don't want the kids to only know their Muslim side! They're part Christian too!
Me: Religion isn't genetic. You've known since before Amina was born that we're raising them Muslim.
Mom: Just because Ahmed wants to raise them Muslim doesn't mean that they can just abandon their Christian family.
Me: Seriously? Calm down. Who's abandoning anyone?
Mom: If Ahmed doesn't want them in a nativity play then he doesn't have to come to Christmas. But I think it's about time he started accepting our family traditions.
I didn't respond after that. These things aren't family traditions. They literally just started last year and everyone was hoping that it wouldn't be repeated. I'm 100% sure that DH won't want us to go to Christmas if she's going to put on a show like that again. I don't want to cause any drama. My siblings will probably still go even though it's weird and out of place. We'd be the only ones missing.
But i'm pretty sure that DWIL would say don't go, right?
And my other main question--how do I handle this crazy in the mean time? I mean, it's September. It's too early for this. It's giving me a headache just to think about it. But should I BH or should I respond? I haven't even told DH about her texts yet because I know it will upset him. Part of me is hoping that this will all go away, but I've seen enough on DWIL to know that my story is just beginning.
Any help, ladies of DWIL?
(By the way, if I don't respond for a time, I'm not hairflipping. I have three little kids to take care of and only one is in school and only for a half day. I'm often on BBC at odd hours.)