Maybe I'm overthinking this, but I'm looking for help on how not to become the problematic inlaw myself-
My sil is expecting her third child. She is due soon and mil (her mom) and all others in their family are planning to be there a soon as the baby is born. I don't want to show up any earlier than she is ready to have visitors. I'd like to have her decide if she wants us right away or wait a few weeks, or perhaps if she wants dh (her brother) there right away and me and our toddler son to wait. But I'm not quite sure how to phrase all this. What if she thinks I'm just not excited about her baby and am trying to get out of visiting right away?
Basically I just want to leave it up to her and have her tell me when and how we should come visit. But I don't want to give the impression that I'm not excited and would be happy to come for the birth if that's what she wants. What should I say to her?
My sil is expecting her third child. She is due soon and mil (her mom) and all others in their family are planning to be there a soon as the baby is born. I don't want to show up any earlier than she is ready to have visitors. I'd like to have her decide if she wants us right away or wait a few weeks, or perhaps if she wants dh (her brother) there right away and me and our toddler son to wait. But I'm not quite sure how to phrase all this. What if she thinks I'm just not excited about her baby and am trying to get out of visiting right away?
Basically I just want to leave it up to her and have her tell me when and how we should come visit. But I don't want to give the impression that I'm not excited and would be happy to come for the birth if that's what she wants. What should I say to her?