My MIL is a passive aggressive manipulator. She plays a victim in every fight we have. She undermines me in front of my children, she nags about seeing the kids so we have to take them over to their home 30 minutes away every Saturday even though my husband works a lot and only gets the weekend to spend with us. If we let he watch the kids 2 hours she complains they don't stay long enough and that she doesn't feel like a real grandma bc they don't stay the night. We do a couple of fun things for the kids every year where invite my in laws and my MIL complains that they don't get to take them alone. It's a never ending fight and frankly I don't like sharing my kids on the weekends, especially with someone I don't like. Their whole family thinks I'm a bitch bc I don't give into her and let her take charge of our family. My husband sees she does this and sometimes confronts her but she cries and turns it around on how she just wants to feel like a grandma and do granmda things. I think she's losing control of my husband and it kills her. She used to read his bank statements and pay his phone bill until we met and married and I quickly put a halt to the "help" she was giving him. She knows I don't buy a lot of junk food so she buys it and tries sending it home with us. When I say no she gets upset and says she just want to bless us and she prays everyday I'll love her. Please don't let that fool anyone. This is the same woman who told me when I was pregnant with my first child that if he was gay he would be an abomination to God. I want to put my foot down to stop her smothering behavior towards my children and to stop from going over there every weekend. It is my husband's mother but i feel like it's a bit much to see her that often especially bc I have parents that give us space so we visit them maybe twice a month. Any advice? My husband is tired of us not getting along and he says I can't get along and it makes him have such bad anxiety over talking about fixing her to not control us through our kids.
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