There is some bg here I can go into if needed but basically MIL was on a TO for boundary stomping following a not very pleasant visit for dds bday. During the TO she continued to text and call, including little gems like how she "felt sorry for us" because she wasn't in our lives. Also, constant requests for photos. She never asked how DD is. Just asked for photos.
At the conclusion of the TO, DH reiterated our feelings about boundaries that we need respected and expectations for healthy communication and interaction going forward. She was also told she would be on lc with me as a result of the things she said to me. I am not ready to interact with her because I am pregnant with our second and don't want the stress of it. DH is fully supportive of that, too, and thinks it's better to not talk. He also is supportive of cutting the info train in terms of the pregnancy so she doesn't boundary stomp. She knows due date, if they're talking when we find out she can know gender but that's it.
So here's where I'm stuck. I lurk here and I feel like I tried hard to use the proper vocabulary and establish clear expectations. DH evens reads posts and listens to info. Did we go about this wrong? MIL was out back on TO after one day. She was using guilt trips, sarcasm and rudeness to respond and wanted to rug sweep the previous issues DH had brought up. He told her she wasn't ready for a relationship because this wasn't a healthy way of interacting. She responded that she is who she is and we can take her or leave her. DH put her back on TO for awhile.
Now, she continues to text both our one of us every other day at least. These texts act as though everything is fine. Tonight I received one asking who she should be getting updates about my health during the pregnancy from. We have been BHing. So, did we mess something up and she doesnt get it? Do we keep BHing or do I text her and let her know I want to be left alone? We truly would like a break from her and can't seem to make her understand that.
At the conclusion of the TO, DH reiterated our feelings about boundaries that we need respected and expectations for healthy communication and interaction going forward. She was also told she would be on lc with me as a result of the things she said to me. I am not ready to interact with her because I am pregnant with our second and don't want the stress of it. DH is fully supportive of that, too, and thinks it's better to not talk. He also is supportive of cutting the info train in terms of the pregnancy so she doesn't boundary stomp. She knows due date, if they're talking when we find out she can know gender but that's it.
So here's where I'm stuck. I lurk here and I feel like I tried hard to use the proper vocabulary and establish clear expectations. DH evens reads posts and listens to info. Did we go about this wrong? MIL was out back on TO after one day. She was using guilt trips, sarcasm and rudeness to respond and wanted to rug sweep the previous issues DH had brought up. He told her she wasn't ready for a relationship because this wasn't a healthy way of interacting. She responded that she is who she is and we can take her or leave her. DH put her back on TO for awhile.
Now, she continues to text both our one of us every other day at least. These texts act as though everything is fine. Tonight I received one asking who she should be getting updates about my health during the pregnancy from. We have been BHing. So, did we mess something up and she doesnt get it? Do we keep BHing or do I text her and let her know I want to be left alone? We truly would like a break from her and can't seem to make her understand that.